Whispers Of Our Soul

I Don't Love Him

I can't explain it
The fact I need to see you
Even if it's looking at your
Old photos
I need to see your blue eyes
And the freckles across your nose

I don't know why
But I need to be near you
Even if it means moving away
From everyone I know
I need to breathe in your aroma
And feel the warmth of your hands again

For some reason
I need your lips on mine
Even it means ruining any chance
Of US forever
I need to feel your lips to see if
Maybe we were destined for each other

Tell me why
I still want him
Even after all this time has passed
Years and years
I still want him to come back one day
And say he loves me

Why do I want that?
I do not want to love him
He was so cruel to me
So why then
Must I see him
And be around him
And kiss him

I can't
I won't say
I'm in love with him

He will leave my mind
After a while
It will all fade

It's not like his eyes are pools
Of blue light and happiness
That I could lay in all night
They are only blue
Ocean blue

But his hands aren't that soft
They don't bend and curve to
Fit mine perfectly
They are just hands
Lovely hands

Besides he doesn't love me properly
He can't kiss me until I'm weak
And my heart is exploding
He can only kiss me
Kiss me like a million stars

And his habits are stupid
The way his hair gets long and he has to brush it sets from his eyes
The way he taps his finger when he is thinking
Or the bite of his lip when he sees some thing extraordinarily lovely

So I might love him
I might want to see him
And be around him
And kiss me
I might love him with all I am
With every cell of my soul
And every beat of my heart

But that doesn't mean he loves me