Whispers Of Our Soul

Clear

*Also not a poem just because I don't feel like writing one*

I am just so tired. Exhaustion is flooding through me like a freight train.

I can't sleep at night. It's either too cold or too hot. I sweat till my mouth runs dry. I toss and turn until my muscles ache. I close my eyes but they flutter back open.

I can't eat either. Everything looks bland. It tastes like the color grey. I feel hungry, but by the time I have my food, my hunger vanishes.

Yet that's not the worst part. The worst part is that my body is still moving. I continue to function while the inside of me pains for a goodnight sleep or a meal. I continue on as though nothing has happened. Nobody can see what goes on behind my doors.

I wonder if maybe I am meant to be like this. Exhausted and hungry. Always wanting for something, always having what I want dangled in front of me, yet I am just out of reach. That is pretty sad.

Or maybe, I have been like this so long it is no longer unnatural. I have grown to know this tiredness. And that's pretty sad too.

And my schedule is booked 24/7. End of the year projects and tests...I am working on not one, not two, but three different things for drama. I am the lead in two of them and I am writing the scenes for the other one!

But there are people in this world that give me clarity. People like my glorious friend Kaden, he is....just I can't describe him in words. He is the greatest person I know and I love him.

And a certain masked man, he's pretty chill too. He likes Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Harry Potter, baseball, superheroes, and a list of other stuff that I also like. Yes, we are nerds. So sue us.

And Sophia, she is my forever boo. She is sarcastic and bitchy and hilarious and I love her to death. I don't know what I would do without her.

Kat, because she has stuck with me seven years, more than anyone ever has so...like, I guess you get an award? She accepts my crazy and weird and she just gets me! On a completely other level and universe, she understands exactly what I mean and what I am talking about. She has been there. Always. And I can't thank her enough for that. Also, that was very cheesy and I know she gets awkward with things that pertain to cheese. So guess what? You may be a socially awkward, semi-decent looking cat lover who listens to songs about the founding fathers willingly, but I still love you. (As a friend, not a lover oh God!)

So thank you to those people. You clear my vision in this world full of fog.

This was sort of a reliever to get stuff off my chest but also a big thank you to some people.

And hey! If you read all of that and are down here, congratulations!

You look good today, but more importantly you are beautiful on the inside.

Keep shining loves!