Just stupid love

34

I was laying in bed. It was Friday. They let us take a break from all the rehearsals. I woke up early. But I stayed in bed. Emily got up and went downstairs. And so did Saara. No ones came in to check on me. But, it doesn't matter. I wasn't planning on leaving this room at all today. After what happened yesterday.

I'm still surprised I haven't cried. Yet, I've cried when I saw my best friends leave. But for some reason, this hurts way more. Freddy texted earlier. I told him what happened. He said he was sorry about the whole thing. I said it was ok and that I'll get over it.

But, I think it's gonna be a whole till I get over it. And I mean a while. What happened last night hurt me so bad. I hated it. I don't want to leave my room and face him. I don't ever want to face him. Ever.

I hear my door creek open. I don't bother to look to see who it is. Instead, I just sit there looking at my phone. "Are you ever going to get it f bed?" Nathan asked.

"No." I answer specificity. He sighs.

"You need to. It's not healthy staying in bed." He says.

"I rather not." I say. It was quiet for a few seconds. He then hops on be bed and sits next to me.

"Want to tell me what happened?" He asked. I sight.

"Matt cheated on me." I mutter.

"What?" I asked.

"Matt cheated on me." I say I bit louder.

"What!? Why would he do that? He cares about you."

"He never did. I always though he did but he didn't." I say. My voice was shaky. But, I didn't want to cry.

"You know, tying to keep in all the tears is really unhealthy." He says. I look at him. He pulls me closer. "Just let it out." He says. I do as he says. I wrap my arms around his torso and start crying. Why?

After a few minutes, I stopped crying. "Do you want to go downstairs? I'll make you something to eat." Se tells me. I shake my head.

"I don want to look at hear him. I don't want to face him." I say.

"He's not down there. He's in bed." Nathan says. I sigh.

"What will you cook for me?" I ask.

"I'll make you anything you want, as long as you come down." He says. I sigh. I nod my head and he jumps off my bunk. He helps me down and we continue walking down the stairs.

"Where is everybody?" I ask.

"Honey, Emily, and Saara went out. Ryan went out to get some more food for us. And Jordan and Kieran are in the kitchen."

We walk into the kitchen. Jordan was eating and apple as the two boys look at there phone. "Hey mates." He says. The two look up and smile once they see me.

"Let's pull another prank today. I have stuff for it." Kieran says. I shake my head.

"I'm not really in the mood for it. I just want to lay down and eat." And cry to a little bit.

"Ok. So, what would you like to eat?" Jordan asks. I shrug my shoulder.

"I don't really know." I say sadly. I sit on the stool and but my chin on the counter. The two look at me sadly.

"What wrong?" They both ask at the same time. I look away almost ready to cry. I don't even have the strength to talk.

"Want me to tell them?" Nathan asks. I nod my head.

"Matt cheated on her." He says. It was quiet in here. I didn't like it. I didn't want to look up at everyone.

I hear footsteps walking towards me. Then a few arms wrap around my waist. "We're really sorry." Jordan says. Nathan joins the hug. That's when it happens. I start to cry again. The rub my back telling me everything will be alright.

I don't know if anything will be alright. What just happened yesterday hurt me real bad. I heart broke into a million peaces. And it's gonna take a long time to fix it.

Matts POV:

I was planning on staying in bed. I don't want to come out. At all. I hurt her. I really did get her. I wish that night never happened.

I don't want to come out of my room at all. Thank god it was a free day. There's times where I want to get up and walk to her room and say sorry and for her to let me explain. And hen there's times where I know she won't forgive me.

I know this hurt her more. But it also hurt me. Seeing her face that night made me want to jump off a bridge. What am I going to do? I like her so much and I ruined it all.

Wait. Did I like her? Or did I love her? I'm not even sure about my feelings for her. But, I'm pretty sure I love her.
Wow. I love her and I ruined everything. EVERYTHING! All I want to do is sleep and forget any of that happened. But, it'll be hard to forget with Casey on my mind constantly. Her expression that night broke me. I wish she would've let me explain yesterday.