fanboy ↦ michael clifford {au}

nineteen: and

CHAPTER NINETEEN:

| michael’s pov |

“Ashton hasn’t dropped by lately,” mum remarked, as she took my plate from the table and placed it in the sink. 

She’s always liked Ashton– mainly because he was the only friend I had left. He was the only one who hasn’t given up, and believe it or not, if I lost him, I’d feel lonely. 

“Yeah,” I mumbled, averting my gaze to the glass in my hand. 

She sat in front of me, waving her hand to assure herself I was listening. “And?”

“And what?” I asked, looking at her, my eyebrow raising. What does she mean by and?

She sighed, disappointment written all over her face. “Aren’t you going to visit him? It’s been almost two weeks since you last did!”

Almost two weeks?

It’s been two weeks of trying to move on. It’s been two weeks of loneliness. It’s been two weeks, but it felt like forever.

“It’s fine,” I lied, looking at my glass again. “We talk on the phone.”

Mum let out a smile, pleased that she was sure I still had a friend. She said nothing, but she gave me a nod and beam.

I thought nothing of it– lying, I mean. I lied a lot, I wouldn’t say otherwise. What was making me feel guilty was the lie, itself. 

It wasn’t that I lied, but it was the lie. 

We never talked again, not after his confession. He tried to contact me several times, but I ignored him. He didn't know what he said to me that day, and I don't plan on telling him, either.

I was on the verge of losing a friend, I know that. But I need time, time to think about things. I needed time to move on.

That way, I’d be sure that when I talk to him, there’ll be no hard feelings. Everything will be just like before. We’d be friends, and there was no issue.

I’d be back to my lazy self, playing video games or sleeping all day. He’d be the one to encourage me to meet new people and go out. 

Everything would be back to normal.

Only, when that time comes, there wouldn't be any Belle.