I haven't felt this bad in a while. I'm to the point where I don't think I can make it through the day without collapsing from stress and sadness. My thoughts are constantly eating away at my insides, hollowing me out to make room for worry and pain.
I don't feel happy when I see my friends anymore, I'm indifferent. I'm finding it difficult to talk to people I was once very close to. I got over nine hours of sleep last night but I felt like I got only two. I'm always so tired and so hungry. I want to talk to others about it, but I don't want to burden them.
I can't express how exhausted I am mentally. My days feel so long but when I think back on it I can't remember anything. I feel like I'm making my way through a fog, I don't remember most of my interactions and most of the time I don't know what I'm saying.
There's a constant pain in my chest, not a sharp one, more like I swallowed a seedling. A seedling that's now growing into a tree and pushing against my insides, slow and painfully and I'm about to explode.
I try to sleep but I end up crying. Over what? I can't tell you that. Maybe because I don't want to grow up. Maybe because I wish I could cease to exist. Maybe because I don't want to feel this way. We will never know.
