I'm going to say what I feel. I'm tired of being scared of what I can or can not put on here anymore.
I feel like my life is draining from me. Does nobody notice? Can people not see that I can barely hold a decent conversation anymore? That I almost cry when new people talk to me? That I feel so damn small?
I try to act like I can socialise like a normal person. I really do try. It doesn't really work. I've always been shy, ever since I was little. I remember hiding behind my mom when I saw people at the grocery store. Thing is, I'm not able to hide behind my mom anymore.
I have to grow up and be a big girl. That's another horrifying thing. Growing up. I want to go back to being 7 years old without a care in the world. Back when my dad was still in the army and my mom would stay home with us. I don't want to grow up.
People I know are also a problem. I act kinda mean I think. I don't know why. I don't try to be, I just. I don't know. I just come off that way I guess.
People are going to leave me, I know and accept this. I'm just a temporary thing for them. I was told told that by someone I care for a lot. I don't care though. That's a lie. I care a lot. It hurts so much. I know I'm not worth being stuck with for a while.
"I can tell just what you want. You don't want to be alone,"
Does anyone know where that's from? Or what it means? It's a good song. You should listen to it.
I'm rambling. It feels good to ramble. Just to type out my thoughts as I think them. Is it already almost eleven? I swear it was ten like five minutes ago.
I've been getting plenty of sleep but I can still barely keep my eyes open in class. I don't know why. I don't know a lot of things.
Well I'll be off to bed to be a lonely little Hufflepuff.
"If you don't speak out, we can't hear it."
