Ronnie's Songs (Completed) #Wattys2017

VI - Starving

You know just how to make my heart beat faster. Emotional earthquake, bring on disaster... I didn't know that I was starving 'til I tasted you.

"I just texted Luke. He's on his way here," said Chris smilingly.

He was limping from the bed to the kitchen and for a moment, I was having second thoughts of going with Tom and leaving Chris behind.

Tom left about five minutes ago to take a bath, change his clothes, and get his car that he didn't get to bring last night because he left the key inside his dormitory, then he said he'd collect me afterwards. He lives twenty minutes away from my place so, it was really desperate of him to come and ask for my rescue last night.

I followed Chris with my eyes and felt sympathy.

"Don't give me that look, Ronnie," he said through gritted teeth and in a sing-song voice, possibly ashamed of his sudden state of vulnerability. "I can take care of myself. Besides, Luke's bringing his game console, and some beers. So, it's a win-win situation," he then flashed his all too annoying grin at me.

I sighed.

"I know..." I said weakly, "but I just feel guilty. I feel like you need company right now, and I'm your best friend and I'm supposed to be here for you because you were there with me yesterday, but I, being stupid, chose to go to with..."

I stopped, frowning, as I left my sentence hanging in midair, because I now feel like a total idiot for agreeing to go with Tom. Was I that easy?

After my dramatic pause, to change the subject, I asked Chris, "Why did you really drown yourself in alcohol last night? It's not like you at all to be that wasted. Does this have anything to do with... with... Kate?"

It's not like Chris to hide something from me, but I sense that it's exactly what he's doing at the moment. We've always told each other the things that were bothering us, except if it's about Kate. You can't talk to Chris about Kate. You might ask why I suddenly decided to talk about her right now. Am I digging my own grave? I don't know... I suppose sometimes I tend to have a malfunctioning brain, too. But really, I'm concerned for my best friend. I might know some things that have happened between him and Kate, but not all. Needless to say, Kate's a taboo topic and just the mere mention of her name makes Chris act a bit indifferent.

"What about her?" he asked then chuckled like what I said was nothing but a childish joke to him. He seemed dubious, trying really hard to mask what he's feeling about Kate. "She was out of my life for a while, Ronnie. We shouldn't really talk about people that are--you know... not here," he said, giving me an unconvincing look of a nonchalant reaction.

I've been in the not-literally-the-same-but-quite-similar situation as Chris before and we know each other like the back of our hands, that I see no point in delving deeper into his words. He will just get on with his act of treating everything like it's a joke, and will pretend it doesn't bother him at all. If I push the subject immensely, he might turn into Batman--half-bat, half man. What do I mean? He's going to live in his cave again and shut all people out, including me. I did that before so trust me when I say, I know.

"Fine. If you say so," I said dismissively, although we both know I wasn't going to drop the subject instantly without getting even just a tiny bit out of it. "I'd say you miss her," I added colloquially, " but you're my best friend and we're supposed to support each other, so knowing better, I'd rather say I understand you, I respect you, and I know where you're coming from."

When he didn't reply, I continued saying, "I'd also tell you that faking and hiding your real feelings will never change the things that are already in the past. It would only make you suffer more." I tilted my head to get a good look at him who had his back facing me whilst he was rummaging for who-knows-what in the refrigerator. "You have to think about what I said because it's all purely based from experience of someone I know very well," I said furthermore because I love my friend and I'm such a sarcastic person that I mock my own mind.