Prologue - Story Of My Life

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The way that I've been holding on too tight, with nothing in between...

If someone had asked me three years ago if I could see myself in this foolish situation, I would've been mad at them. I'd even tell them they're jealous. My life was perfect three years ago. It was all somebody could wish for.

Then, I forgot how cruel life is--that anything can happen in a blink of an eye. Nothing is built to last forever. Actually, things that are built get tarnished or weaken as it gets older and older. It doesn't really get stronger nor firmer. It could be like that, but you'd have to have a great sense of responsibility to make things last. I suppose that's what I can tell about this whole situation.

Usually, memories are the only things to hold onto in times of letting go. It's hard, letting go is, but it's harder to hold on when you're not sure what exactly you're trying to hold on to.

"So," he said with the most heartbreaking smile I've ever seen, "where do you want to go today?"

"Anywhere with you," I answered, hypnotized by his dark eyes.

He pulled me closer to him. "I wish we're like this forever. You know, just happy and in love. I'll never let go of you. I promise," he said those words and my, how my heart just stopped. "Will you?" he asked.

"Will I what?"

"Will you promise to never let go of me?"

To be quite honest, I don't want to promise anything to him. I was just living in the moment, not expecting us to end up together  or what. Of course, any girl would want their boyfriend to be it for them. Call me a realistic person, because even though I have so much love for this boy in front of me, I cannot promise him anything. I don't want to give him false hopes... I don't want to give myself false hopes.

I  shrugged. "Of course," I answered, giving him a reassuring smile.

"Oh, I love you so much." He kissed me then on my forehead which sent butterflies all over my body.

"I love you so much more."

I really was not good with promises because I let go of him. I let go of the only boy I truly loved. It's not my fault. God knows how much I loved him, how much effort I put into our relationship, and sometimes, things just don't work out no matter how hard you try to balance things.

They say that change is the only constant thing in this world. I daresay we're variables because we're not constants. 

Okay, I'll stop with the Algebra joke there. I'm such a nerd.

There are probably so many reasons why we love someone, why we hate them, or why we don't care about them. One thing that hits me hard is why people leave the people they love. I have never gotten the most accurate answer until I was the one to be put in those shoes.

Perhaps we leave the people we love because we're brilliant at Math, and they're not. 

Perhaps we leave the people we love because we love dark chocolates and they don't. 

Perhaps we leave the people we love because we find Donald Trump funny, and they just couldn't care less about him.

Perhaps we leave the people we love because they're not interested in studying, unlike us.

Perhaps we leave the people we love because they hate Harry Potter and you'd rip a soul from its body if anyone tries to say something bad to it.

Perhaps we leave the people we love because they get jealous of  us fan-girling over Ed Sheeran.

Perhaps we leave the people we love because they take a lot of excellent, breath-taking, IG-worthy pictures, and we just take bad selfies on Snapchat--only one is story-worthy out of a hundred.

Perhaps we leave the people we love because...

...because...

...because you're too different from one another. Everything was happening too fast and you're trying to take it slow that when it sped up, all of a sudden you stepped on the brakes too hard.

It left both of you crashing. 

Hard. 

The impact was harder and stronger than Chromium and there was no choice but to cry, because it's hard to understand why. It will always be.

Out of all the reasons there are in this world, I can assure you one thing: there will always be a reason why we do what we do, regardless of how shallow or acceptable our reasons might be. They're always there. Always.

Like most things, ours was as good as it lasted. It was more than what I asked for but sometimes, I take it for granted that less is more.

Less is more. Remember that whenever you're getting lost when trying to figure out yourself. Less of other people, and more of you.

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