Hell and Back (The 100)

33 - Fire

The woods were peacefully when they were empty. There is something serene about them. It could be the fact that I knew there were several guards standing behind me at the outside of the camp. After being stuck in the dropship for a day and a half because the virus took a strong liking to my body, I am more than thankful to be outside again.

To my surprise, Bellamy stayed inside the dropship with me for most of my sickness until he left to go play leader outside. Octavia helped nurse me back to health, along with Clarke. For everyone else, the virus only lasted half a day, but it decided to sick around a little bit longer for me.

"First watch is over." Bellamy's voice sounds from behind me, near the wall. "Go relieve Monroe on the south wall. Keep your eyes open." His boots crunch dead leaves and twigs on his way toward me. "Anything?" He asks once he reaches us.

"It's been two days." Clarke comments from where she is standing between the two trees. She glances at me sitting against a tree and Bellamy standing between us before looking back at the open woods. "Maybe the bomb at the bridge scared them off for good."

Bellamy side glances at her. "You believe that?"

I softly scoff at the idea. There's no way that the Grounders won't react to us blowing up the bridge. They must be livid right now. I rest my forearms on top of my knees and stare out at the trees. I'm the reason that several of their people are either injured or killed.

There will always be blood on my hands. I will live with that for the rest of my life. I barely remember any of the conversations I had when I was sick, but I do faintly remember Bellamy saying why he didn't trust me with a gun. What I said to him about the person I was on the Ark wouldn't be proud of what I've done down here is true. However, the fact that I am fighting to stay alive and to keep the people I care about alive, would make her proud.

Some of us have to get our hands a little bloody sometimes.

"No, they're coming." Clarke states and walks back to camp without another word, leaving Bellamy and I out here.

I keep my eyes locked on a tree far away. "Jasper thinks he can cook up some more gunpowder if he gets some sulfur and Raven says she can turn that into landmines."

"Watch where you step then." Bellamy says in an amused tone.

I crack a smile. "Funny."

"You okay?"

I glance at him, nodding once. "Yeah. I'm just thinking of every thing that's happened since we've come down here." I place my hand in his when he holds it out to help me up. With my hands, I brush off the dirt and leaves off of my pants.

"What I really need is a thousand more of her tin can bombs I can roll into their village and blow those Grounders to hell." Bellamy walks alongside of me back to the gate. He notices the glare I shoot at him. "That's what they want to do to us."

I sigh, "I can't believe we survived a hundred years just so we could slaughter each other." My arms fold over my chest and I stop a few feet before the gate. "I really wish there was another way."

There had to be another way to live down here without murdering each other. If only the Grounders didn't see us as a threat, but we kind of blew that option out of the water when we destroyed the bridge. We were enemies and the only thing we could do was fight. To think that not long ago, I sobbed over killing Dax and, now, I killed who knows how many on the bridge.

Earth changes you and I don't think it's in a good way.

"Any word from the Ark?" Bellamy angles his body toward mine. His arms matching my own over his chest.