Hell and Back (The 100)

37 - Ridiculous

"You're not going to let me through, are you?" My arms fold over my chest with a grim expression. 

Jasper and Octavia glimpse at each other before turning their attention back on me, shaking their heads in sync. I tilt my head back in aggravation. I should have expected the two of them would work together to convince me that staying at camp is a bad idea. 

"This is ridiculous." I snip at them. I take a few steps backward, hands running through my hair, frustrated. 

"No," Octavia steps forward an inch. "What's ridiculous is that you want all of us to stay here when we're not ready for war!"

My hands fly out in front of me, pain radiating in my wrists, and grasp around the air to form fists. My right hand flies out to my side, roughly gesturing to outside. "We can't go out there, Octavia! Look, I get it, you want to run off with Lincoln because that's been your plan the whole time." 

Octavia's mouth parts in shock, taken aback. "How-" She tries gather all of the thoughts in her mind. "How did you know about that?" 

"He told me." I tell her. "After he saved me. He wanted me to join the two of you. You were probably just going to run off with him and not tell us, right?"

Guilt washes over her face. 

"Yeah," I scoff at her. "Who cares about Bellamy, or Clarke, or Jasper, or even me, when you can just run off like a little coward with him and not even tell any of us." 

"That- That's not fair..." Octavia whispers, lowly. "I was- I--"

"You- You were just going to leave us?" Jasper stands behind her, a hurt expression on his face, finding it hard to believe that she would just leave. 

Octavia's eyes widen and she whirls around, glancing back and forth between us. "I- I--" She trips over her own words. "I told him that I wasn't going to go with him. I wasn't going to leave all of my people."

"He sure seemed to think that you'd be joining him." I reply, bitterly. 

Part of me knew that I shouldn't be blowing up on Octavia this much, but we hadn't talked about it yet. She's the one that cornered me in our tent. My thoughts and emotions are too overwhelmed with everyone packing up to leave soon. The fact that she had even planned on leaving with Lincoln in the first place needed to be brought up, considering she never told anyone.

"But, you still planned on leaving without telling us." Jasper mumbles, sadly. 

An ache throbs through my heart from how heartbroken he is from the news of her original plans. Sometimes, I forget about his small crush on Octavia. Jasper rarely ever talks to me about it. 

My brother shakes his head while frowning at her, backing out of the tent. 

"Jasper, wait! Jasper!" She reaches to grab onto his arm when he storms out of the tent. Her head swivels back around. "Wren--" A sigh emits from her lips. "Look, you can be mad at me all you want, but, please talk to Bellamy about this. We can't stay here." 

With a roll of my eyes, I push past her in our shared tent and step out in the sunshine. The flaps of the tent flip open behind me, yet I continue to walk to the dropship, not caring that Octavia is following me. 

She abruptly cuts me off before I can walk up the door. "Bellamy will listen to you, okay? Wren, we have to go." 

"Octavia, you know that as soon as we step out from behind these walls, the Grounders will be hunting us down. They won't be tracking us, they will be hunting." I stress to her, wishing she would understand. "They will kill us one by one. Leaving camp is committing suicide. Sorry if you can't understand why I don't want us to do that."