When this is all over, I'll probably laugh.
I might even wonder why I waited so long,
ask myself why I wanted to leave
when this is where I belong.
I'll probably laugh till I cry with relief
for having them believe in me
after convincing myself for so long
that they never would.
Questioning how I could ever do such things
and have no one know,
and yet being so numb inside,
feeling dead.
I might cry till I start laughing again, because who knew that letting it all go was so easy?
Not remembering why I thought the demons were right when I had God in my side the whole time,
I'll probably pass out.
Just from the sheer weight loss,
after all that burden was heavy.
My body won't know what gravity is,
my head will float just above clouds,
My soul will be so close to heaven
I'll hear the sound of angels probably,
I'll notice that they can't sing in the right key,
And then I'll realize that it's only the sound of me screaming because for the first time in years
I'll know what it's like to breathe.
Maybe, when this is all over,
I'll see that the only thing I should have feared
was the fact that I was being told to fear others,
and the detrimental act of listening to that voice.
I think I'll grow wings when this is over,
not to fly away, but just to see what a bird feels like when it's loosed from its cage.
When I find the key to mine,
I'll probably not believe it.
I'll probably sit there in silence with tears flowing like a river glorious and just stare at it.
I'll probably not know what to do,
I'll probably trip a lot
from only knowing how to walk in circles while holding on to bars.
I haven't properly seen the sky in years,
I've always seen it as a place to escape to,
as a intangible hope, an unreachable goal,
as the thing that holds all the light
that I can never be worthy of.
I haven't seen the moon as anything but a friend, we've been friends for 10 years.
I don't know what to expect,
or even if there is a new twist around the bend,
but when this is all over,
I'll probably just be really glad that it is.
The End.
SK
