I didn't ask for this silence,
But it's always been there.
Hovering over the deep
and permeating the air.
I didn't ask for this.
It's cruel to be honest,
how despite there being no sound
I can hear everything in my head clearly.
It shatters me.
I can feel how it vibrates through me;
I cannot touch the sounds
but they can touch me.
It's strange, this one way street,
always feeling but never having proof.
Someone I once wish I knew said
that there is a certain power in everything,
how things, people, places, mere ideas
give each other power.
It's the reality of not
being able to appreciate happiness
without sadness,
for the precise reason that
one would not exist without the other. Happiness is wrapped up in not being sad,
they are each other's identity.
I haven't found mine yet,
or maybe I have and don't want to acknowledge it, the thing that completes me, the person.
I am tired of searching the internet for some place to rest my eyes,
I just want to close them.
Close them now,
and hear things, sounds,
murmurs, music, voices.
I want you to do something for me,
before you finish reading this
go back to the beginning and read it out loud. Be present, be here,
and maybe bask in the experience of sharing someone else's words with them.
Listen to your voice,
let me know what it sounds like,
because I've forgotten mine somewhere
and lost it.
Read it out loud, be brave,
and let me hear you,
and all the cracks and creaks in between.
I'll close my eyes and listen.
SK
