It's all happening exactly as I didn't expect,
The slow progression of my anxiety
from bad to worse to numb,
and I'm stuck.
Stuck because the things that I want
and the things that I don't want
are literally the same thing
and I'm in the great battle of tug-of-war
getting torn to pieces inside.
The fear is massive, was massive, but I stifled it at went for what I wanted.
Now it has surfaced again with a vengeance
bringing with it all of the questions
I have been asking.
Questions that I had only asked as hypotheticals
are now hounding me with a reality
that cannot be ignored.
And I don't know how to answer,
or bury my head in the sand.
Is this going to jeopardize my faith?
What about my parents?
Are you prepared to lie about it?
Are you prepared for the questions?
Do you have answers?
Are you ready to conform?
Are you just going to give up and be like everyone else and represent the things you don't agree with?
Is it worth your worth?
All these convictions weigh on me and tomorrow gets closer begging for answers.
SK (art)
