As I recall, there was a lot of spark.
And flying.
Exorbitant amount of feeling.
Painful abundance of smiling,
teeth brilliantly bared to show the
extent of our happiness.
A lot of hand brandishing,
because the ring was so bright
and shiny and
distracting.
I even recall affection.
But looking back on all those years,
I cannot say that there was love.
And so I have to add everything else up
as just a pretense to cover up the fact
that we were scared,
Far too young and dangerously unaware
of what we were doing.
We were toying with each other's lives
as if this was all just a game we could just
start over if we lost.
There was no brevity,
no weight behind the decision,
we weren't happy,
we just didn't know it.
It's amazing what just one year can do to a persons eyes, it can either blind them to harsh realities, or reveal all the things we failed to see.
It was one right after the other for me,
I was stumbling in the dark,
and then suddenly the light came on
and all I saw was you.
With your annoyingly intrusive OCD habits,
and your totally exclusive imaginary planet
that only you seemed to live on and nobody else,
at times you made me feel like an alien.
I'll be honest, sometimes I wants to go back to Earth, that was how outlandish you were.
But it's crazy what a year will do to a person's heart.
After the shock of change wears off
and recovery sets in,
you begin to grow accustomed to the weirdness,
and suddenly your world didn't seem to weird because you were in it.
I learned to relax that year,
I learned that being weird just means that
the world has many different colors
that I never saw before.
I learned how to make you my home, and how to see everything from your eyes because you made it seem so amazing.
And in doing that you made my life amazing.
All of this to say that,
I didn't start out loving you.
And I'll admit that I probably should have figured that out before I said yes,
but apparently my heart
saw something my eyes couldn't see yet.
But I caught up and now I don't think I could live without seeing the world through your colors.
You haven't just made me live,
my love, you've made me alive.
SK
