Of Love & Sacrifice

11

-'I havent grabbed my phone in two days' Gaga commented while preparing breakfast for Gianluca, Cynthia frowned -'Why?', -'Well, because I dont want no ones sneaky opinion up in my house, mark and i dont need that', -'Yeah, I agree', Gaga sigjhed deeply and looked at the little boy on her arm, he was falling asleep against her shoulder while she made some scrambled eggs and fried some ham for him, -'Wheres Mark?' Natali asked from a corner, -'He needed to go back to London, so he did', Natali rolled her eyes and chuckled, -'Leaving you alone with the baby as always', Gaga frowned, -'He has commitments there natali', -'Yeah yeah, I just...its like hes oblivious to what youre going through', -'No hes not, he-', -'Stop making up excuses Stef, he leaves you ALL the time. Whats the difference if you are together or not in a relationship? You're raising your son alone either way!', Joe looked at Natali, she didnt cared if she was hurting her sister's feelings, she just wanted to vent the truth.
Gaga laid a small plate harshly on Gi's baby chair table, she put the baby on the chair and almost spilled juice when she laid the bottle back down, she was absolutely mad, -'See? Now shes doing what she always does! Wake up, take care of baby all day and then work and no one helps you save for us! Where is Mark now Stef? Does he not see you need help?', -'I'll just say it one more time. He's in London takkng care of-', -'Legal business yeah. Eccept you let him step all over you, and whenever he does come he doesnt do enough, TRUST ME', Gaga tried hard to surpress a flow of tears to no avail. She slammed the fork down on the table and left to lock herself up in her room.
Cynthia looked over at Natali and went to tend for her grandson who was left completely confused, Natali sighed deeply and went out into the balcony.

What Natali said had Gaga thinking but, it was true what she was saying, Mark was busy with his divorce thing just dealing with it. She then thought about the times Mark was actually here. He left all the baby duty to her because he never cared to learn. Now she was starting to get bothered. Natali was right after all, so Gaga decided she and Mark would have to have a good talk when they met again.
Gaga laid in her bed for a while just thinking, before getting in the shower and dressing up. She decided she wanted to have a mother-son day with lots of treats and gifts for the light of her life.
-'Mom, I'm going out with Gianluca okay', -'Yeah sure', -'We'll go have lunch and look at some toys here and there', Gianluca stared at his mom from his pram and smiled, -'Look at that flirty little grin! My little mischievous baby honey', Gianluca loved when hisom talked sweets to him, he felt safe.

While Gaga walked down the streets of New York, completely incognito, she started thinking about what Natali said again. There was some truth to it of course, but she did not want her sister's position to affect her relationship, of course. Maybe it would be better if she just ignored it and moved on as a family.
She then thought about the single most important thing here. Gianluca was the center of her life, and everything she did from now on had to work around him, and not through him.

-'You know son, I'd usually hate buying you this but I can see that you want this' she said, grabbing a big Nemo shaped pillow from a stand and giving it to her baby, who gleefully accepted the offer, -'Yeah yeah, you deserve it, you've been so good and your booboo has been healing good too!', she was referring to the appendicitis scar.
After the Nemo pillow was bought and already in Gianluca's tight grasp, Gaga thought about stopping for some lunch but quickly regretted it as she saw paparazzi in a distance. It was sad truly how she felt so trapped. Trapped in a huge city. Ah, the irony.
She sighed in dismay and started walking in the opposite direction. She heard her phone ring, 'Mark' displayed on the screen, -'Ah, great' she mumbled.
-'Hey Mark'
-'Hey Stef'
-'What's up?'
-'Nothing much, just...talking to my lawyer and all and I dont...I dont have such good news'
-'What do you mean?'
-'Well, the process seems to be taking a while'
Gaga sighed audibly and rolled her eyes so hard she thought they were gonna pop out.
-'What does that mean?'
-'I mean I dont think I'll be able to make it to his birthday'
Gaga stopped in her tracks
-'What the fuck? You promised! What's changed now?'
-'Things have gotten complicated with the prenup and stuff and Josephine is not being nice to me and-'
-'This is your son we're talking about! This is not even about me'
-'I know Stef, I know. I'm sorry, I just dont think I'll be able to travel for a while'
-'I smell bullshit' Gaga responded harshly
-'It's not, I swear...I'm doing everything I can'
-'It's not enough! You promised to be here fo us!'
-'And I am! Have I ever failed you?'
-'Youre failing right now' and then she hung up.
She walked up to a bench and sat down, Gianluca stared at her with his huge bright green eyes, -'Come here' she sighed, grabbing him gently, the little boy cuddled tight into his mom shielding himself from the cold, -'Things are not good around here Gi, I dont know whats gonna happen with us...', of course the baby did not understand a word, but he still cuddled into her.
Gaga stayed there for a while, maybe staying with Mark wasnt a great idea for her mental health or for Gianluca's emotional stability. She was dtarting to doubt everything she ever knew.