First Love

Cigarettes and Fire Trucks

Dean POV 

((Flashback))

"How was school today, Dean?" My father asked from across the dinner table as he cut into his steak.

"School was school." I said even though I skipped school today.

"Dean, you didn't ev---" I kicked Sam under the table to make him stop and he sent me daggers out of the corner of his eye.

"Well, how did your chemistry exam go? Or did you experiment with chemicals in other ways today?" My mom questioned, catching me off guard.

"What do you mean, Mom?" I asked clearing my throat beforehand. She stared at me knowingly and I felt the urge to crawl under the table and hide.

"Your mother and I both know that you are back into drugs." My father said, making me want to hide even more. I can't believe they found out, I had been so careful.

"We don't want you to go back to JUVY, so here's what's going to happen. You are going to go to rehab and you are going to get sober, no matter how long it takes." My mom calmly explained. I shot up like a bullet from my chair, scaring my whole family and our dog Rufus who was in the other room.

"I'm not going to rehab!" I screamed before sprinting off towards my room upstairs. My dad tried to stop me but I was too quick. I was upstairs with the door locked before he even left the dining room.

Once inside, I collapsed on my bed and started to think of my sorry excuse for a life. In JUVY three times, addicted to drugs twice and even have been in a gang. I didn't want this life, I wanted to change but once you are in, there's no changing that.

I walked over to my desk and grabbed my pack of cigarettes from under the false bottom drawer along with my lighter. As quickly as I could, I lit one and sat down on my bed, letting the cigarette calm me down.

"Dean? May I come in?" Sam asked from the other side of the door. I threw the cigarette to the floor and stomped it out, saying I would clean it later.

"Sure, Sammy. I'll open the door in a minute." I unlocked the door for him and he came in with a disapproving look, obviously smelling the smoke. He stood there for a minute in the doorway before walking and sitting next to me on my bed.

"Dean, I can't lose you again." He said teary eyed. I was tearing up too knowing that I couldn't bare to lose him either.

"How about we watch a movie tonight and not care what is going to happen tomorrow?" I suggested. Sam nodded his head and we headed downstairs to watch a movie.

An hour later, we were both passed out having watched half of Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. As I laid there soundly on the couch, the fire alarms went off blaring loud causing both Sam and I to bolt awake.

"Dean!" He called out. Smoke  was started to fill the room, so instead of responding I just picked him up and carried him outside to the mailbox across the road.

"Sam. Run to the neighbors and call 911. I'll get Mom and Dad." I told him and even though he was scared, he comprehended and did as he was told. I ran back towards the house and climbed the escape ladder to my parents window. The room was full of thick black smoke and I could see flames in the doorway. I smacked at the window with all my might, trying my hardest to break them free. Tears were streaming down my face but I didn't give up. I couldn't give up.

Finally, I broke the window open, cascading glass all around me but I didn't even feel it. I could hear Sam calling to me now and there were feet pounding on pavement, surely neighbors running up to see the flames. I climbed into the bedroom, to the horror of Sam who shrieked out my name, and began to look around for my parents.

"Dean..." A cough sputtered out. "Leave, Dean." My dad said from the corner of the room. I crawled over to him and tried to pick him up, but he resisted. That's when I saw all the burns on his forearms and heard the hacking cough he had for the first time. I was beginning to feel a little light headed myself but I wasn't going to leave him here. I couldn't.

"Come on, Dad." I tried again to hoist him up but he hit me away and laid back down against the wall.

"I love you, Dean." He coughed out before going silent. I shook him, trying to wake him up, but he wouldn't budge. I checked his pulse and couldn't find one at all. I broke down in tears but the tears turned into coughs and I realized what I had to do then.

I had to leave because I couldn't leave Sam all alone in this world. I crawled on the floor, coughing the whole way to the window and somehow climbed down the ladder to the ground.

Firetrucks were there when I got to the ground, their sirens filling my head with their song.

"Son, son are you okay?" Someone said above me. I don't even remember going to the ground.

"Dean! Dean!" I heard Sam call, I tried to sit up and hug him but my mind spiraled into darkness.

The next morning, I woke up in a hospital room to a news channel blaring in the room.

"Oops. I sat on the remote." Sam told me with an apologetic fake smile. I could tell that he had been crying and I tried to sit up to hug him but for some reason I was strapped to the bed.

"What's with these?" I whispered, my voice straining when I talked.

"They read about your history with violence and it also doesn't help that you began to kick the doctors when they tried to put oxygen on you." He told me, staring out the window.

"I'm so sorry, Sam. Come here and give me a hug." He reluctantly got up and walked over to give me a hug, which turned into a crying fest for both of us. We had just lost everything, but at least we have each other.

"A fire in Lawrence took the lives of 42 year old female and 45 year old male yesterday evening. The couples two young sons were able to escape the home and the eldest is now being treated for smoke inhalation at a  local hospital. The cause of the fire is still being determined but the most likely theory at the moment is that a cigarette sparked the initial fire. The names of the victims will be announced once all family is notified." I sat there in shock listening. It was my cigarette. It must not have been completely stomped out when I threw it to the floor.

I caused it.

I caused that fire.

I caused my parents deaths.