Thoughts and Feelings

February 7th, 2017, 12:55 PM

Disclaimer: I haven't been diagnosed with anxiety, but everyone gets it every now and then and over something.

So I'm technically 9 weeks behind in one of my classes. Am I really? No, because they only expect 3 assignments a week and I can do 10 if I need to play catch-up. I'm not even really behind, I just haven't done my Discussion Based Assessments because they give me extreme anxiety, so I spend a week putting them off, and then I spend a week doing all possible other work, and then I spend a week studying for one of my college classes that has a test coming up, and then I spend a week actually studying for the DBA. You see how this works?

So my mom has been on my ass for a while now about it. I've told her what I have to do and she hasn't really done anything but tell me I need to get it done. I guess I haven't submitted anything in that course for 9 days (because all that's left is the DBAs) so my teacher called her. Then my mom proceeds to scream at me for an hour for not doing it and being so far behind blah blah blah. It's only one class.

But of course I'm crying because she's screaming at me and threatening to put me in the shitty public school where people get high and pregnant and all this other shit (it's a bad school). Then she proceeds to call my teacher (on my phone) and leaves a message telling her to call us back at that number to arrange a DBA.

Then my mom has to leave and, of course, AS SHE'S PULLING OUT OF THE FUCKING DRIVEWAY, MY TEACHER DECIDES TO CALL BACK! AND I'M STILL DOING THAT STUPID LITTLE HICCUP AND SNIFFLE COMBO THAT YOU GET AFTER CRYING AND I CONSIDER NOT ANSWERING BUT IF I DON'T I'LL JUST GET SCREAMED AT MORE SO I HAD TO ANSWER IT AND OF COURSE NOW MY BLOODY TEACHER KNOWS I WAS CRYING AND I HAVE TO TALK TO HER LATER TODAY AND DO THE STUPID DBA AND IT'S GIVING ME MORE ANXIETY NOW THAN IT WAS BEFORE.

I'm done.