I have a shit memory, ask anyone I talk to on a regular basis. However, there is one situation when I remember things: when they make me feel something.
So why is it that a good majority of those memories are bad?
Is it my mindset, or just that I've gone through so many negative experiences that I can't remember very many good ones?
Most of my memories are of fights and yelling and people leaving. Hell, most of my memories that I can think of are from the past 5ish years, which have been absolute hell.
Sure, I've been through some good stuff, and I have some good memories, but they aren't as vivid and they don't seem to stay as long.
I can remember everything that was said in a fight between my dad and I, but I can't remember anything about the camp that I went to 3 years ago except having to say goodbye to my friends.
Why can't I remember good things? It's really fucking hard to see the good things in life when you can't really remember them.
And like the thing with camp, even if I do have good memories, a lot of times they're overridden by bad. Having fun with my friends? Overridden by the fight we had that ended that friendship. Family trip? Overridden by the fights being in close quarters caused.
I just want to remember the good, and forget the other stuff.
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Thoughts and Feelings
Non-FictionTRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF DEPRESSION, SUICIDE, ANXIETY, ETC. Welcome to my brain on my darkest days and nights. I'm warning you, it's not pretty, so continue at your own risk. This involves questions I find myself asking on a daily basis, rants...
