My emotions are so all over the place right now. I'm feeling things I've never felt before along with things I wished to never feel again. Some of it is a good feeling, I guess, but none of it is healthy.
Why is it that my mind never seems to stray far from you? I've always thought logic overpowered feelings, but nothing about this is logical. It goes against all logic! My mind is totally occupied as soon as I wake up to the moment I fall asleep and I find myself missing you. I'm not sad because you're gone, I'm sad because you're not here. But honestly I don't want it to be any other way. It's easier to hide it when you're far away. If you were close I think I'd be in a constant state of torture.
I still miss you though. Everything. I miss the hugs and the long talks about nothing and everything. I miss your weird obsessions and silly antics. I miss that connection. Somehow it's like I've known you for years, and god I wish I had. I can only imagine how life would be with more time.
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Thoughts and Feelings
NonfiksiTRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF DEPRESSION, SUICIDE, ANXIETY, ETC. Welcome to my brain on my darkest days and nights. I'm warning you, it's not pretty, so continue at your own risk. This involves questions I find myself asking on a daily basis, rants...
