This account has been hacked by Voldemort.
My name is Tom Marvolo Riddle, the heir of Salazar Slytherin. I am considering on making this book a Horcrux. I am willing to answer any questions, even from muggle filth like you, to preserve the soul of m...
RiverFlows101 asked: "Dear Tom, What is your opinion about Valentine's Day? -River. P.S. I hate Valentine's Day, and if I could set the Basilisk on every living couple on Valentine's Day, I would." ~•~•~•~•~ *Owldemort delivers this envelope, heavily scented with Amortentia, and drops it in your hands, along with a bouquet of dark red roses stolen from the closest flower shoppe*
Dear River,
In my opinion, Valentine's Day is merely a scam inflicted upon both Muggle-kind and wizard-kind.
On this one day, people spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on things such as chocolates, candy, roses, and, Merlin help me, teddy bears.
On top of that, those things are actually more expensive than what it would normally cost on the days leading up to Valentine's Day. Those Honeydukes heart-shaped sweets on a regular day? Five sickles. On Valentine's Day? FIVE BLOODY GALLEONS.
Can't anyone see that this is all a scam- an excuse to fish out more galleons from already-broke lovesick people?!
*sighs*
Well, in case you missed it, I very much dislike Valentine's Day. Those awful pink streamers, ridiculous hearts, and snogging couples here in Hogwarts almost make me want to go back to my Muggle orphanage, where love is practically nonexistent.
Today, I received fifty-three Valentine-related gifts, ranging from a box of chocolates spiked with love potion to singing Valentine grams.
Those singing Valentine grams were particularly interesting: Hey diddle, Tom Riddle, As fit as a fiddle. His gorgeous hair, His seductive stare. Oh, how I love you Tom Riddle. - a singing Valentine from one of my admirers (guess who?)
Unfortunately, fortunately, I couldn't send anyone any Valentine things due to the fact that I haven't got money for such luxuries. Although there was a certain Slytherin girl I wanted to buy a couple of roses for... Hm.
Yours, Tom Marvolo Riddle
P.S. Also, in light of Valentine's Day, weirdest-thoughts dared me to "ask out" a bunch of random Muggle girls.
I took to the streets of London, and I did. I asked out a grand total of ninety-seven girls, all of which whom I've gotten the numbers of, in about thirty minutes. I reckon I've beaten my personal record. I used the cheesiest pick up lines ("Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?") and the blandest compliments ("Your hair looks okay today."), yet I still manage to pick up some dates? Merlin, what am I, ridiculously good-looking?
Out of those ninety-seven Muggle girls, only one of them made my heart stop. Her name was Jenny, I believe? She almost ran me over. Scared me to death and almost gave me a heart attack. My life flashed before my eyes.
P.S.S. Here's a Valentine card for you.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
(And your very own heart dissection kit. For, y'know, getting in the spirit of Valentine's Day....)
