Beautiful Mistake

xxxv

The day I've been waiting for is finally here. The Sunday where I'm told whether or not I'm a mother to twins.

"Hey, are you ready?" Collin pops his head into the room and then fully opens the door, "We still have to go and pick up Warren."

"I'll be ready in like two minutes, I just have to put on my shoes." I say, standing up from my bed and walking over to my closet. I pick up a pair of black and brown toms and bring them over to a less messy part of my room. I drop them on the floor and slip them onto my feet.

I do a double-take in the full-length mirror and adjust my tank top.

"You look fine Caroline, lets go." He drags his feet as he turns around in my doorway. I follow him through the short hallway and down the stairs. Collin grabs his keys and we both take his car to go and pick up Warren. He comes out in a black shirt and jeans, the neck of the shirt hangs low and so does the necklace he's wearing.

Warren gets in the car and I greet him by saying, "What're you all dressed up for?"

"What do you mean? I always dress like this."

"You do not! This is like a Calvin Klein look, you're usually more Urban Outfitters." Collin bursts out laughing and looks in the rear view mirror.

"These clothes have been sitting in my closet since Christmas of last year." Warren mumbles, buckling in his seatbelt.

"Right, right. Well, onto seeing my womb!" I shout as we pull away from Warren's house.

-

"Ms. Folsen?" My name is called and I look up from the fashion magazine I've been flipping through.

I stand up and both Collin and Warren follow me into the back.

"These two are with you?" She asks me as we walk down the hallway.

"Yeah, the father and my friend." I say as she takes me to a scale.

"Please remove your shoes and stand on this." I take off my toms and do as told. She moves the little thing on the scale around and then writes my weight down on the paper.

"Go into that room and I'll meet you there in a few minutes." She points to the second door on the right hand side. I put my toms on and walk into the room. The walls are covered in posters about women's health and baby sculptures.

Collin helps me up onto the checkup bed and then sits down in the chair next to me. Warren stands on the opposite side where the monitor is.

The nurse comes in and turns off the lights.

"Since you haven't been here in a while, we've scheduled you for an ultrasound."

"Okay, I have a question though." She nods as she grabs things from the counter across the way, "I've been told that twins run in my family and that I'm large for how far along I am."

"Yes, you're eighteen weeks correct?"

"On Monday yeah."

"Well it's certainly possible. We'll be able to tell for sure today." She says, walking over. Warren moves out of the way and stands in front of the chair instead.

I pull up my top, just below my bra and she squirts the gel onto my stomach, "This jelly enables a tight bond between your skin and the wand so we can see your baby or babies." She begins to spread it around and an unclear image shows on the screen. I watch it and then we begin to hear heartbeats, one after the other.

"Looks like you were right, these are definitely twins." Collin lets out a sigh and I look at him. He has evident tears in his eyes and when I turn my head to look at Warren, he's just intently staring at the screen.

She moves the wand a little bit and then points, "See here, this is what we'll call baby A and here's baby B."

"Wow." I whisper, wiping tears away from my cheeks, "Can you tell if they're identical or fraternal?" I ask.

"From what I can see, both babies share a single placenta and one single outer membrane, but they also share the amniotic sac, with no inner membrane to separate them." She points everything out and then continues, "MCMA twins are extremely rare and only account for about one per cent of all identical twins so you have a special pair of babies."

"That's a lot of information." I laugh. She turns off the machine and wipes my stomach. with a wet wipe.

"The babies look fine but I'd like to get your blood drawn and a sample of your urine. If you go downstairs they'll give you a cup to use and after they'll take you back for your blood."

"Okay. Thank you so much." I sit up and before I can get down, the nurse turns on the light.

"Just in case, your estimated due date is March 23rd. So, make sure you're prepared," I nod and she writes another few things down, "Also, you need to watch your weight. With twins, you gain more weight than you do with a singlet. With a singlet the average weight gain is twenty-five pounds, twins is thirty-five." I nod and then as she opens the door she says, "You can pick up your ultrasound pictures from the front."

"Wow, twins are a thing." Collin says, running his fingers through his hair.

"Yep." I get off the chair and Warren opens the door, his silence is bothering me but I knew bringing him would just make matters worse. Collin and I get to have what he doesn't. Double of what he doesn't!

I follow Collin back to the waiting room where the woman gives us the yellow envelope. We leave the room and take the stairs down to the first level. I do both of the things the woman told me to and we all leave.

"Do you want me to drop you off at home?" Collin asks Warren when he unlocks the car.

"Yeah, thanks for bringing me Caroline." He gets into the backseat. I get in and buckle myself in.

"No problem," I smile softly and look at Collin who pulls the joystick down to put the car in drive.

The car ride home is quiet among the three of us. Once we pull up to Warren's house, he unbuckles his seatbelt and says, "Not to ruin the mood but I got a text from Tessa's mom while we were in the waiting room. Her funeral is next Friday."

I don't say anything but Collin clears his throat.

"Yeah, thanks for letting us know. See you later." Warren gets out after saying bye.

My eyes well up but I blink back the tears. I'm not crying anymore, there's no reason. I can't spend all of my days crying over someone I can't bring back.

The only thing I wish is that I said goodbye. I completely blew her off on the last day of her life.

I can't change anything now.