Blue Moon

54) Music Class at the Back of Class

see, i'm a little gushy

wishy-washy, feathery

fondly and yearningly

delicate (i try so hard to be strong

- physically and mentally)

and then i try so hard

to be an elegant young woman

(sophistiquée bien sûr)

and i try so hard

to be what people want me to be

in this way and that.

see, i always was that way

and i don't want to be that way

a flurry, washed out, ever-yearning

though winter days are always doing so

bit by bit

i'm as easily spooked as celeste

sometimes

and some days,

the creak of doors

is enough to tip me

over.

upside down, inside out

and send me running,

send me down

i was so angry on friday

and i envisioned fists flying

and limbs flailing

when truth be told

i was just constantly spooked

and trying to hide within earphones

and dropping bases

alongside angry guitar strings

and alternative, post-rock sensations

i was hiding beneath electro

classical, and then shutting off

at the back of classrooms with a book

in my hand

and music in my ear (anyone

going to disturb me?)

a bit of indie

and whatever, not like anyone's

going to disturb me.

(3rd February 2014)