The Heart Wants What it Wants (Sequel to ILAC)

Chapter 84

James' POV

Tuesday, May 23rd. 

I woke up with a major headache. I opened my eyes and saw bright lights. I looked around and realized I was in a hospital bed. I looked around and saw Jacky and Cris sleeping. The door flew open and Irina walked in with Nicole. Cris and Jacky woke up as soon as they opened the door. They all turned to look my direction. I gave them a small smile that's when Nicole and Irina set the food down and sat down. 

Nicole: James we need to talk. 

James: About? Why am I here? 

Nicole: Do you not know why you are here? 

James: No, not really. 

Irina: You're here because you were dehydrated and they diagnosed that you were in an early stage of anorexia. 

James: Wait, really? 

Cristiano: James, don't play dumb you knew what you were doing. 

Jacky: Cris, calm down he just woke up. 

Cristiano: I'm sorry I'm just tired of this. He knows we care so why do it? 

Irina: We will talk about once Gareth gets here. 

Cristiano: I don't have time to wait for him I need to know the answers now. 

Irina: Cris, let's go outside for moment. 

Cristiano: FIne. (he gets up and so does Irina) 

James: I'm sorry. 

Jacky: It's fine. (she gives James a small smile) 

James: It's not.. 

I looked around and sighed. I always have to mess up everyone's day somehow. I never realized what I was doing whenever I would work out all the time. I looked up as soon as the door opened. Gareth walked in with Cristiano and Irina behind him. They all sat down and looked at me. I sighed as I looked down at my hands. All of them had their eyes on me, which made me nervous. But I had to be honest to them because they deserve. They all have been there for me in some type of way. They deserve an explanation from me even though it is the stupidest reason. Even though they may laugh in my face. Even though they choose not to talk to me. I took a deep breath as I waited for someone to say something. I noticed they would all look at each and nod as they already knew what they were going to ask me. I honestly wasn't ready for their questions. 

Nicole: I'm glad you're okay. You had us all worried. 

Gareth: I wasn't there, but as soon as Cris called me I grew worried. I came here in a hurry. I talked to Sergio too he told me to tell you that he wished he would be here, but he couldn't come because Pilar had planned a family day for them. 

James: Thanks, I appreciate it. 

Cristiano: But now we really need to talk, James. You need to be honest with all of us. You told us all that you don't like talking to us about your problems, but we deserve to know. You always have us worried. We don't know what to expect from you next. We just want you to be happy and if you can't tell us what's wrong how are we suppose to help you? We are here because we all love you and want to help so you would be happy. 

Nicole: I also remember you telling one of us I don't remember if it was me or not, but anyways I remember you telling me that you were afraid of us making fun of the reason you are upset. We will never make fun of you. I hope you get that. 

Gareth: Now that everything is said. Will you please tell us what is wrong? Cris, I, and some of the other guys figured that something was wrong whenever we would see you at the gym all the time or whenever you would stay after practice ended. We just not to say anything. Why did you do that? 

James: (he takes a deep breath) I never intended to not eat I guess I just caught up with working out and practicing that I didn't realize that I stopped eating. 

Jacky: But why did you start working out and practicing a lot? 

James: Ever since Zidane began to trust everyone and me being his last choice I began to feel inscure about myself. I slowly began to think I wasn't doing anything right. I began to think everyone hated me and didn't want me around so I felt like I needed to get better that's why I deciated my time going to the gym and practicing, but even then Zidane would trust anyone over me I'm just not good enough..I'll never be good enough. (he mumbles) 

Cristiano: James, you are good enough. Zidane is just not seeing it I have no idea why he hasn't if I were him I would give you chances. 

James: But you're not. 

Cristiano: I'm going to talk to him about it. 

James: No, I don't want you to say anything to him about this I want to earn my playing time because he feels like it not because you told him. 

Gareth: James has a point. He wants to earn his spot. 

Cristiano: I get that you want that, but is there anyway we could help you? 

James: No. 

Jacky: James? 

James: Yeah? 

Jacky: Can you promise me that you will start exercising and practicing less and you will eat more and drink water? 

James: I can't promise you that because all promises are meant to be broken. 

Jacky: Alright, can you tell me you'll do that at least? 

James: Of course. 

I gave her a small smile and she did the same. I'm glad I got everything off my chest. I felt so much better, but I'm going to get better for myself and for Jacky and the kids. Gareth had left along with Nicole. He was going to take her back to Isco's house. All I could think about what the future held for me and Jacky together. 

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Alright, guys here is another update. I just want you all to know that I will be skipping to the world cup. I'll make sure to catch you up with everything. You should leave some suggestions down on who you think will make it far in the world cup. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Are you finally glad James got some stuff off his chest?