pacify her ➳ joshler

14. e

josh sat at the table, anxiously. he picked at his food, not feeling like eating. he felt uneasy, and he knew exactly why.

he still hasn't told debby, even though he promised basically everyone he would. he's actually surprised she hasn't found out herself, as they haven't talked for a while.

josh flicked his eyes up to ashley who slammed her tray down on the table, trying to get a reaction out of josh. she fake pouted, furrowing her eyebrows as josh just sat there fiddling with his food.

"well, hello to you too, grumpy pants." ashley plopped down across josh stuffing her mouth full of fries. he just looked at her with dull eyes. he couldn't get his mind off tyler.

tyler. oh, fuck! he's here today, he's gonna see debby. debby with josh. josh straightened his posture, panic filling his eyes.

"are you gonna tell me what your problem is, or-" ashley huffed, swallowing down her food as tyler approached the table. "hi." tyler said smiling showing off his light dimples.

"hey, ty. you came at the right time." ashley directed towards josh who was basically having a panic attack. "oh?" tyler giggled at ashley's comment, giving josh a smirk.

josh swallowed the lump in his throat, trying so hard not to choke as he spoke up. "hey ty!" he forced giving a fake smile to pull it off. "oh so you talk to him." ashley stated sarcastically, rolling her eyes at the bright haired boy.

tyler smiled even more at the conversation of the two. josh was melting with every little thing tyler did; to his smile, the way he ran his hand through his hair. josh just stared at him, dazed at the smaller boy. smiling with every word he spoke. he was perfect.

josh's thoughts of tyler were quickly clouded with the thought of debby. what is she comes over? what would josh do? "hey wanna go outside for the rest of lunch? it's pretty nice out today." josh offered with pleading eyes.

tyler knew something up with the way josh looked. he just licked his lips before grabbing his tray. "then lets go." tyler raised his eyebrows waiting for josh who was still sat down. "ok-kay" josh stuttered, jumping up from were he sat. tyler beamed waiting for him.

"you coming ash?" tyler asked, as he stood in the cafeteria with his tray in his hand. "oh-uh," she looked around before spotting troye walking towards the table. "no, you guys go head. imma sit with troye." she waved at them, as they walked away towards the doors that lead out to the back of the school.

they headed for the bleachers that were situated near the football field. tyler took a seat, waiting for josh to sit next to him, which he did almost immediately. the sun beat down on the two boys who enjoyed their food in the nice weather. the sound of others that were outside as well filled the atmosphere. josh began to calm down as he was out of the cafeteria.

"josh." tyler glanced at him, wiping the crumbs from his sandwich off his mouth with the back of his hand. "hmm?" josh turned towards the brunette, chewing his food, finally. "can i ask you something?"

"anything." josh confirmed, even though the thought of an unexpected question made him anxious. "do-do you love me?" tyler mumbled still staring josh straight in the eyes.

josh dropped his head feeling, uncomfortable with the question already. "i-yes" josh spoke. "but, i-i'm confused tyler. i'm scared." he revealed. "of what?" tyler set the tray on the other side of him, scooting close to josh. "everything." josh lifted his head back up, to reveal tyler starting at him in genuine worry.

"josh i-" josh cut tyler off, taking ahold of his hand and lacing their fingers together. "i love you tyler, but" "but?" tyler was on the verge of tears but held them back, knowing he was at school. "i don't know.. i need time. i need time to think." josh uttered. tyler bit his lip, trying to hold in the sobs. tears filled his eyes, making his eyesight blurry but he didn't dare blink.

"tyler, please. i'm sorry." josh pulled him close, hugging him tightly. tyler wrapped his arms around josh's middle, taking his shirt in between his fingers. "i love you josh." tyler stated, more genuine than ever. "i love you so much and i hate myself for it." he mumbled.

josh just kept his eyes closed, holding tyler tighter and tighter, with every word. the yellow-haired boy pulled away, staring deeply into the brunettes eyes. he watched as a tear slid down his perfect cheeks. josh was quick to reach his hand up and cup his cheek, wiping the tears away with his thumb. the gentle touch reassuring tyler.

josh let out a sigh, kissing tyler's forehead. "i wish i could just end this."