I Need You.

Chapter One.

Lauren.

I roll over in bed reaching out my arm to find the body next to me, only to be greeted by crinkling of a piece of paper, I sigh and rub at my eyes, lifting up the sheet to read it.

*Got called into work, emergency.. I'm sorry, I love you C x*

I've gotten used to waking up in an empty bed, Camila is rarely home these days, even when she's supposed to have Sunday's off, she always get's called in in the middle of the night for an emergency, I knew it would be hard once she started working in a hospital, but I didn't realise I would only get to see her a few hours a day, if I even get that sometimes, and I'd be lying if I said it weren't making me really depressed, but I can't show that, I have to slap a smile on my face, because I can't let Harmony see how much it is killing me.

I look at the clock and see that's it's closing in on 10am, that's the only good thing about the weekends lately, is that I don't have to be up at 6am, and Harmony no longer wakes up early on the weekends, which is a total bonus.

I sigh and lay back on the bed, closing my eyes for a few more moments, needing those peaceful seconds to pull myself together, who knew that living this life would be such a struggle.

"Mum" I hear Harmony knock tentatively on the door, trying to be quiet just in case I am still sleeping.

"Yeah" I call back letting her know it's okay to come in.

She slowly pushes the door open and searches the bed, a look of sadness falling on her face when she realises that it's just me here, it doesn't matter how many times I see her make that face, it doesn't break my heart any less, because all she wants is to be able to climb into bed in the morning and have cuddles with her mum, even if it's just for a few minutes, even though I legally became her mum nine months ago now, I'll never be able to replace the bond that she has with Camila, and I can see how much it's breaking the six year old girl to not have her mum around on the weekends.

Harmony tries to change her facial expression and she climbs into bed and curls up into me, she hasn't vocalised to me how she feels about her mother always being gone, but I can see that it's slowly killing her inside, it's killing me so I can't even begin to imagine how much it is affecting her.

I remember when I first met Camila and she was telling me about her becoming a doctor, and that she would always make time for her daughter, but I don't think she realised how much work she would be taking on, it's only her first year of residency, and she has four more years to go before her boards, and I don't know if myself or Harmony can handle it for that much longer.

I sigh placing a kiss on Harmony's forehead before rolling out of bed, not being able to stand laying it alone any longer, it's the small things that get me down, like waking up to her already watching me, with a small smile on her face, her delicate finger tips dancing across my stomach, leaning in to kiss my cheek before quickly running out of the room because she's been holding her pee in for too long, I just miss seeing her in the mornings, even if it is only for five minutes, because now she just leaves without waking me up, and I wish she didn't, I hate waking up and having this empty feeling set in because I didn't even get a goodbye kiss.

I head towards the bathroom needing to release my bladder, groaning loudly as I look down and see that my monthly's have decided to pay me a visit, oh the joys of being a woman, I quickly wash myself before reentering the bedroom and finding that Harmony has left, I quickly change out of my dirty clothes, into clean pyjamas because I have no reason to get dressed, and head to the kitchen as my stomach starts to protest that it needs to be fed.

Harmony is already sat at the kitchen table with a bowl of cereal in front of her, which I've noticed she only tends to go for when she's feeling kind of sad, I don't know what it is, but it's like she won't eat bacon if she isn't happy, like it would ruin the taste if she ate it when she is sad, I don't know, maybe I'm reading too much into things, or maybe she is just an odd kid, but I wouldn't change her for the world.