Hell Above; Lashton

Chapter 27

I promise you, the next chapters will be longer and interesting.

Luke's P.O.V

I don't know what I did wrong.

I don't know what I even did.

Why did he end it. Just like that? He did seem a bit angry, but more sad than angry. Even if he did try to hide it.

I kicked rocks off the pavement floor towards random directions.

"Why?" I kept mumbling to myself.

I told Liam about what happened. He said he would do his best at trying to figure out why Ashton broke it off.

Like he said. He doesn't want me to communicate with him- so I won't. I respect his decisions. He probably just needs space you know. But from what?

I don't want to be seen crying in the streets. Why can't it be dark? I can cry in the dark, and passer bys won't even notice.

But I can't cry right now, not when there's teenagers everywhere trying to get home. Or trying to go to their boyfriends/girlfriends houses. That's what I'd be doing right now, I would've been in Ashton's room, with my head on his lap, and he'd be staring off into space while I stared at him and spoke to him.

But now I can't do that.

I can't cuddle him.

I can't tell him how much I love him.

I can't wake up to him in the mornings.

I can't kiss him good morning. I can't kiss him goodnight.

And I don't even know why!

I'm fucked. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself, and it's only been ten minutes. What will I do alone for these three months. I can't do shit!

I was planning on hanging out with Ash after school and on weekends now I can't even do that. Fuck everything.

I walked into my house, slamming the door so hard America could probably hear it. I locked it and stormed my way up the stairs. I slammed my rooms door too, and threw my backpack at the floor. And threw myself on my bed.

"Why why why why" I said as I grabbed my head, and pulled at my hair. I could feel the tears brimming at the edge of my eyes.

"Fucking why?!" I yelled again. I laid down on my bed and curled myself into a ball. I stared at my window. And cried. I cried until I could feel nothing. I cried until I fell asleep. I cried thinking about Ashton. And drifted into sleep, and dreamt about Ashton.

I woke up at 6 pm. My head hurting like hell. I decided to check Facebook, and saw that Ashton changed his relationship status too "single." I did the same.

I shut my laptop off and sighed.

Fuck it. I need some air. Air is the only thing that will keep me company. It's probably the only thing that likes me right now. No one has spoken to me, but Liam. So I'm guessing everyone hates me.

I changed into some black skinny jeans, a white tshirt and a dark red flannel over it. I only buttoned the top button. They're probably going to think I'm a thug. I'd rather get killed than be without the person I love. Then they can't call it a suicide.

I stuffed a couple hundred dollars into my pockets, why do you have so much money? You ask, well I was saving it to take Ashton on a special dinner for his birthday and take him out everywhere and blah. But now I can't do anything, so might as well spend it on shit.

-

Don't you ever want to yell at someone? You want to yell at them with so much force its like if you're hitting them with a wall, but you can't because you can't risk your life.

I always feel like that with my dad. I just want to yell at my dad and tell him violence isn't the answer to every single thing. You can't solve anything with violence. You're just going to make it worse.

I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare. I'm not perfect.

I just want to be free.