step into the sun || c.m

prologue

Connor sat on the ledge of a cliff that was only a mile or so away from his house. He always went there when he was feeling down, or sad, or just needed a moment. It didn't overlook the town, or a neighborhood, or anything else. He could only see trees and sky. He liked the trees, because they didn't have people in them. People that weren't like him. People that would judge him. They didn't stress him out. They couldn't talk. They could barely even move. He started swinging his feet, feeling the heels of his black combat boots hit the rock of the ledge. They were new. They were his back to school shoes. He was starting eighth grade this year. Every year, he and his mom would go back to school shopping a few days before school started. He would always get a new pair of shoes, which were usually sneakers. This year, he saw those chunky black lace up boots, and insisted he get them.

His mom was confused and distraught by his decision of footwear. But she said, "Whatever you want, sweetie."

He liked the shoes. He felt like they fit him well. His personality that is. He hadn't seen a single boy in his grade wear them before. He would make a statement. He would probably be judged. But everyone judged him anyways. They thought he was weird because he liked to draw and paint and he was slightly obsessed with flowers. They called him gay more than anything. What upset him the most is that it shouldn't even be used as an insult. He took a deep breath, and looked down over the ledge. There was a patch of blue flowers at the bottom. He couldn't really tell what kind of flowers they were from up so high, but they had always been there for as long as he could remember. He wished he could go down there, sit in that small patch of flowers, and just never leave.

"Jesus, don't tell me you're gonna jump." He heard a sharp voice behind him. He froze. There had never been another person here ever since he first came here seven years ago. He was always here. How the hell had someone found it? "Are you gonna answer me?" The voice, obviously female, snapped. Connor had no idea how to respond. He didn't even recognize this voice. So it wasn't anyone he knew, or knew well. He heard a sigh, and some footsteps. "Don't jump, I don't wanna be accountable for calling the cops or whatever if you do." He didn't look over at her, even though she was right next to him.

"I'm not gonna fuckin jump, okay?" He responded basically through his teeth. The girl scoffed, and he could feel her sit down next to him. He still didn't look over at her, but he did see her shoes as she let her feet hang over the ledge just like him. They were black combat boots just like his, but they were much more worn out and he saw she had drawn stars in bright blue sharpie on the toes.

"You were in my history class."  The girl stated, but not the way most people would say that. She said it as a fact, not a question or a conversation starter.

"I hated that class." Connor shot back. If his mom had been there she would've scolded him for such a rude and negative remark. But what he got instead was a laugh.

"Yeah, me too. Everyone in that class was an asshole." She laughed. In an ironic sort of way, like she was remembering how horrible it was. Connor usually only laughed in ironic ways too.

"I like your boots." He blurted out without even thinking before the words left his mouth.

"Yeah? Most people don't." She sighed. "You're the guy who cuts class to paint flowers in the art room, right?" He started to feel angry. At first he didn't mind that this girl, whom he didn't even know what she looked like, was sitting on his ledge. He was about to boil over.

"Listen, if you're here to fuckin call me g-" She cut him off before he could even finish, calmly and collectively.

"I've seen your paintings. They are pretty. I have art seventh, and your paintings are like, all over the art room. People really seem to like them. I can't say they say the same thing about your personality, but..." She trailed off a little. She didn't say it as a joke, or in a way that was obvious it was intended to offend him, so the slightly rude comment didn't upset Connor.

"I don't really like myself as a person either." He sighed, looking down at the flowers.

"I don't know you, but I think I like you. I hate all those assholes and bitches. They feel the need to point out I'm not like them, as if I didn't already know. I've seen them do the same to you." Connor could feel her eyes on him as she spoke, so he finally looked at her. And in all the years he has lived in this town, he has never looked at a girl and thought they were pretty. But damn, he saw her and he felt himself fall for this girl.

Her eyes were deep green, like the leaves of an evergreen tree, and her pale skin was peppered with light freckles you couldn't even see unless you were close to her. Her hair was a blonde curly mess that she hadn't even tried to maintain. She was skinny, and her arms had tiny marks on them he decided to ignore. She was wearing an extremely oversized Fall Out Boy t-shirt and some jeggings.

He had gone to those awkward cotillion classes and school dances for the past thirteen years of his life where all the girls were dressed to the nines (for elementary and middle schoolers that is) and he had never seen a girl look prettier than this girl did.

"I'm Connor." Was all that could leave his lips. The girl looked back over at him, and a thin smile spread across her lips.

"Cierra." She reached out her hand for Connor to shake, and he took it. "It's nice to meet someone that gets it."

author's note// i know the dialauge was cringey but they are fuckin eighth graders AHAHAHA but i hope ya liked be sure to tell me what ya thought and stuff chapter one will be up super duper soon!!!