step into the sun || c.m

chapter seven

He woke up, sadly. But the next day that came didn't make him want to kill himself. The next day actually made him...

Happy.

He had stopped caring about school a long time ago, so when Cierra suggested they skip school again, Connor agreed before she could even finish the sentence. They didn't leave Cierra's house the entire day, picking a show to watch, and watching it all day, sometimes paying attention, sometimes not. Connor even started painting again. Once he got into high school, more of his soul died, so he pretty much stopped painted. But recently, he decided to start painting the flowers again, with the occasional occurrence of Cierra's face. When he wasn't painting, he was with her though. Cierra's mom didn't seem to care when she came home for lunch that her daughter and some boy she barely know were sprawled on the couch, on a Tuesday afternoon. Then again, she didn't seem to care about much of anything.

That night, he slept over again, but they decided to go to school the next day. The classes they didn't have together were long and too much to handle, with people surrounding them. Connor thought if she had to hear that vermin people called Alana Beck speak or even breathe, he was going to kill someone. She was easily the most annoying human being ever to walk this planet, making sure she says hi to everyone as she comes into class saying it was her "new years resolution" to say hello to everyone, cause she read that even a simple smile and 'hello' could possibly save a life.

"Hey Connor! I didn't see you yesterday!" She had said while she slipped into the seat behind him, only a few moments before the bell for sixth period rang. Connor had gotten so hopeful that he wouldn't have any classes with her this semester, and he was in his second to last class with no sign of her. It was his favorite class too, Historical Fiction. He was rudely disappointed.

"Yeah, cause I wasn't fucking here." He snaps, turning around for a moment. She said something else, but the words went in one ear and out the other, her long rant eventually being drowned out by the bell. He liked that class a lot, and the first book the teacher assigned was a good one, he had read it a few times before. Wolf Hall. He absolutely adored it. Of course, he'd never say that out loud. Couldn't let the world know Connor Murphy had feelings other than pissed of or stoned. Stoned is an emotion too, right?

And every single day usually went by this way. Most of the time, he would sleepover at Cierra's house, but there were times that he could sneak her into his house for her to sleepover. And other times, they would both just go home. It was what they would do all of the time. It was just their lives as normal, just like it had been last semester, and the one before that. The fact that Cierra was moving away hadn't quite yet creeped up on him, but it was kind of a shock when the beginning of March rolled around. Their lives had been completely normal, but the fact that in just five short months Cierra would be gone.

"My birthday is next week." They were both sitting on the floor of Connor's living room on a Sunday afternoon. His family was trying to do the whole 'we are a church family' thing, and when Connor swore to them if they tried to take him he would pretend to be possessed and yell racial slurs up and down the pews they quickly decided taking him would be a bad idea. They announced they would be gone for a majority of the day, since there was a lunch and youth group gathering. So naturally, Connor invited Cierra over, seeing as he literally had no one else except that guy from the high school in the next town over who sold him pot. But he couldn't very well ask him to come over and chill out.

"Yeah?" He looked down at Cierra, who was only wearing athletic shorts and an old oversized t-shirt she always wore, he was fairly sure it was her dad's. She was laying on the carpeted floor, on her back, looking up at the television. He could look at her without her noticing, since he was on the love seat Zoe always sat on. He knew very well her birthday was next week.

"We aren't going to school on my birthday." She stated, not taking her eyes away from the television, while Connor didn't take his eyes away from her.

"Wasn't planning on it." He mumbled. He had already gotten her a present. It was probably one of the best presents he had gotten anyone, and that is saying a lot. When he was in the fifth grade he loved buying gifts for his family and the few friends he had. He may have been one of the most misbehaved kids in every single grade he's been in, but man he sure did love giving gifts.

Well, loved.

"Get me a good present, Murphy?" She looked up at him just for a split second, and he smiled. She fixed her hair so it wasn't on her neck, and it fanned out on the tan carpet.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that I did." And hell, he sure did. He went to the antique store and he found a polaroid camera and some film packages. She had always mentioned that her dad had a polaroid camera tucked away in the top drawer of his dresser, and when something big would happen, he would take polaroid photo. She said there were so many of them, from her first bike ride, to her first day of middle school. She said the only one she had left was the one he had taken of the two of them the night before he had left. He had told her to keep in her room, which he had never done. He kept all the photos in his dresser, along with the camera. And that very next day when she came home from school, and her mother was crying, repeating over and over again "he's gone", she instantly ran upstairs, hoping and praying he had left the camera and photos. But when she opened up that top right drawer, the only thing left were a couple pairs of socks and an ACDC t-shirt.

So for her birthday, Connor had gotten her a polaroid camera, so they could take photos of all the memories they made before she moved away. So she could always remember him.

"You better take me out to a fancy ass dinner." She sighed as she reached over for her glass of whisky. She had gotten a bottle of whisky from her mother's bedside table before she had left, and brought it over for them to share. In all honesty, Connor wasn't much of a drinker, but if Cierra brought it over, he'd drink it.

"Oh, I will. Candle lit. I'll set up a picnic at the ledge." He continued on, which earned him a laugh from her. He soaked it in as long as he could.

"Of course! How dare you even think about not doing that." She chuckled, still on the ground, her eyes closed. She looked beautiful as ever. Her face with barely any makeup, only some from the previous night. He wasn't with her, but he's sure she got wasted and fell asleep, cause he could see some eyeliner streaking down her cheeks, and he could only see a faint line on her eyes. He thought she looked just as beautiful with all of that stuff she puts on her face he wasn't all that familiar with. She looked beautiful without it as well. She looked beautiful all the time.

"I'll even wear a suit, and that blue tie you got me for my birthday back in September." He was enjoying this fantasy, and she seemed to as well, since the smile on her face only seemed to grow.

"Sounds great." He saw that smile on her face and promised her mentally that it would not be just a fantasy that they created in a tipsy haze, no matter how hard it may be.

And only six days later, he was looking at himself in his cracked mirror, attempting to straighten his tie, hoping to whatever god was out there that his father wouldn't notice that he had stolen one of his suits.

author's note// this chapter sucks i kno net one will be better i swear it im watching reba is so fuckin good