step into the sun || c.m

chapter eight

He looked in the mirror, looking at that suit that only looked halfway decent on him because he had pinned the inside. It looked a little bit lopsided and crinkled, but Cierra most certainly did not expect him to come wearing a suit, so he was fairly sure she wouldn't care if it was a tiny bit lopsided. As he was straightening his tie, he noticed his hair pulled back in a ponytail actually made him look a little disgusting. But so did having his hair down...

"Zoe!" He hollered, knowing she would tell him the truth. He heard an almost comically loud groan come from down the hall and some matching loud footsteps.

"What the hell do you want Connor." He looked at her, and he swore he almost saw her crack a smile, but if she did she pushed it down extremely quickly. "Also, why the hell are you dressed like that? Is that Dad's suit?" She questioned.

"Don't you dare tell him." Connor growled, straightening his tie. She scoffed.

"I have better things to do then taddle on you." She grumbled. "Now seriously, what do you want?" She sighed, obviously exasperated by this minute and a half conversation.

"Do I put my hair up or down?" He didn't make eye contact with her, feeling like he would blush or she would laugh at him, and he really couldn't take embarrassment right now. It was bad enough going to the grocery store to get all the food and the flowers and running into that weird Jared kid. He could tell that he wanted to say something, but then again Connor probably would've torn him apart in the middle of Publix if he would've even breathed incorrectly. He couldn't take it from his sister.

But he didn't hear a laugh, or a snicker, he just heard her response. "Down. Your hair looks pretty disgusting either way, it's just you look like a rat when it's up. Better to look disgusting than look like a disgusting rat." He laughed just a little, and not in an ironic way. She was genuinely kind of funny.

"Thanks." He looked at her, leaning against his doorframe with her arms crossed. She cracked a smile at him. "I knew you'd be honest or whatever." He looked away, trying to hide the fact that he was panicking. He and his sister had never a nice moment, or anything even close to one, since Connor was in the fifth grade. It was odd. He didn't know if he ever wanted to experience it again.

"Why are you even doing this? You never like, care about your appearance." She chuckled, pushing it just a little too far, just like she did literally everything else.

"Yanno what Zoe, it was a fucking okay moment and you go and ruin it, get the fuck out of my room." He snapped, and he didn't hear another sound from Zoe. But when he turned his head, she wasn't there. But he didn't really care. He looked back at the mirror, and he still looked like himself. It was weird, he expected to look like a new man, someone who had a will to live, and didn't have a ticking time bomb on his contentedness. He just kinda looked like himself, but in a suit about two sizes too big.

He somehow managed to slip out of his house without having any of his family members noticing him. He would'e probably been interrogated by his father, and forced to change out of the suit, probably saying something along the lines of, "I don't want my suit to smell like cigarettes and failure." He liked using that one a lot. But he didn't hear it, he slipped into his car, which was an extremely beat up truck that he almost never used. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he actually drove it around. He had gotten it a birthday present for his fifteenth birthday. His father had taken him to a used car lot and said "What do you want?" Connor wanted that rusty ass truck in the back corner that had probably be sitting there for god knows how long. When he was asked, "Now why the hell do you want that piece of shit?" He wanted to say because it reminded him of... well, him. Sitting there in the very back of the lot, probably never even looked at. No one ever bothered with it. It seemed like if Connor were to have been a car, in some alternate universe, he would have been that very car. But "Who else will?" was all that he said. It was in the shed next to the garage, so it took more than a few minutes to maneuver his way out of that old shed, and out onto his driveway. He saw his mother walk out of the house, and he quickly backed out of his driveway, not wanting to deal with his mother at all right now. She may wanna take a fucking picture of him or something. He looked over at the passenger seat to make sure everything was there. The present and the food was there. He considered writing her a letter, but it turned more into a confession of his love than a birthday letter for his best friend. So he decided not to give it to her, but he put it in a shoebox and put the shoebox underneath a loose floorboard underneath his bed, along with some other shit he had written for her that he mentally beat himself up for. He looked at the present, not very well wrapped but it's the thought that counts. He didn't even look in the back for the other present he had gotten for her, cause he knew it was very well back there. What he didn't know was if he was even going to give it to her. The picnic, that was probably smushed and gross but he made it himself. He took a deep breath as he saw Cierra's house come into view, and he pulled into her driveway. She was already sitting on the steps, smoking what was probably a cigarette but he wouldn't be surprised if it was a joint. When he pulled in, he saw her flick her cigarette onto the ground and stomp it out as she stood up. She looked ready to just get in the passenger seat and go to Chili's or something, since that was their definition of a nice restaurant. She was just wearing a pair of leggings and an oversized band t-shirt with her hair piled on top of her head. He opened the door, and before he even got out he heard her voice.

"Okay, were we goin Murphy?" He stepped out of the car and he swore he had never seen her eyes as wide as they were in that moment. "What the actual fuck are you wearing?" She wasn't laughing at him, or making fun of him. She actually looked kind of... happy? "Is that the tie I got you?" She nearly whispered.

"I said I'd do it, didn't I?" He shoved his hands in his pockets, and looked down at his feet. Despite the suit, he was still wearing his combat boots.

"Yes, but I thought you were joking." This time she laughed, but not in a joking way. He looked up at her and he swore he had never seen her happier. "This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me." She looked as if she was about to cry, and if she was, she pushed it back super fast.

"C'mon get in the car." He nodded towards the car, and a smile as wide as the continent of Australia spread across her face as she bounded over to to the passenger seat and hopped in. He got right back in, and he saw her holding the picnic basket and the present in her hands, with an even wider smile on her face than there was before, if that was even possible.

"Can I open it?" She looked like she had just woken up on Christmas morning to a tree with piles of presents underneath.

"Not yet, just wait." He let a smirk of his own take over his lips. He was so excited for her to open the present. It was almost painful to drive five minutes to the field that led to the ledge. And the walk to the place where he set up the table, fixed up with the candlelight and flowers just like he promised her was worse. He ached every single moment, just waiting for this. He loved seeing her happy. He almost lost it when she looked so surprised he had taken her to the ledge, just like he said he would. He looked over at her face when they finally got to the sight of the setup, and this time, she did cry.

"Connor... I can't believe you would.." Her free hand that wasn't holding the picnic basket went up to her mouth as she took in the sight. A small table with two plates and some fold out chairs he had draped in cloth sat a few yards from the ledge, with candles and flowers in the middle. It wasn't exactly perfect, or anything you would see online that people would comment how adorable it was. But it was the most beautiful thing Cierra has ever seen. She wouldn't have it any other way.

"Take a seat." He put his hand on her back, but she quickly bounced over to her seat, sitting down with a cheshire cat smile. He held her present in his hand, and she looked at it, and looked at him, lightly hinting she wanted it. He didn't blame her, he had been going on about how great it was for the past week. "Okay, you can open it." He sighed and handed it over to her as he took a seat across from her. She clapped a little, and then grabbed the present. She didn't say a word about his horrendous wrapping, probably because she just really didn't care it was horrible. He watched her open it, excitedly, but the second she pulled that camera out of the box, her excited look turned into a shocked look.

"Oh my God, Connor you didn't." She gasped, looking over the polaroid camera as if it was the most amazing thing she had ever seen in her life.

"I found it an an antique store." He added. "There's some more film in there... Yanno so we can take photos and you can take the pictures wherever you go so you'll never forget those moments." She looked up, and he saw the tears fall from her eyes again.

"I don't want to forget this moment." She whispered, taking his hand. "Thank you, Connor. I love this... I love you." His cheeks turned bright red, but he looked down.

"Well then hand me the camera." He suggested and she shook her head.

"No, Connor. I don't wanna remember what I looked like, I wanna remember what you looked like. I never want to forget you in a suit and tie, looking all happy with what you've done." She smirked. She pulled the Camera up to her eye, somehow holding it with one hand, so that she didn't let go of his hand. "Smile." She sang, and he followed his orders, giving the camera a side smirk.

When the photo developed, he could see Cierra's hand holding onto his, and just the fact that he could see her skin touching his made his heart skip a beat.

author's note// writing ths chapter made me think abt my baby daddi mike faist in a suit holy fuCk hes one hot tamali