step into the sun || c.m

chapter two

Connor pulled into his driveway, his skin flushed and buzzed, only because Ceirra had held his hand. She had fallen asleep after an hour or so of talking and looking at the sky, and it took Connor another hour and a half to stop staring at her and wake her up. They had both already missed dinner, so they went through the Wendy's drivethrough, but both ended up snacking on the french fries while they groaned and complained about having to see all the assholes again after three weeks off.

"You don't have to go home. You can sleepover at my house. You know my mom doesn't give two shits." Ceirra yawned, leaning her head against the window.

"You just don't want to drive home." He grumbled, unbuckling his seatbelt.

"That, and you keep me warm." She had no idea what she was doing with his head, saying things like this. He had slept over at her house a many times before, and times she had made Connor wrap his arms around her to keep her warm. And it was just to keep her warm, which kind of broke him a little more than she usually did.

"Mhm, as much as I love being used by you, Cynthia will probably be upset if I am not home in the morning." She let out a noise he didn't quite know how to describe, other than pure defeat and disappointment.

"Stop calling your mother Cynthia, Connor." She grumbled as she straightened herself up, seemingly exhausted, even though it was barely past nine thirty.

"Why do you care so much about my family?" He looked over at her. Her black eyeliner was running, and her eyeshadow was smudged, and her dark lipstick wasn't just on her lips anymore. She still looked stunning.

"Because what if one day it's too late? And they only remember the Connor that slammed doors and cursed at small children." A small smirk crept on her face.

"That was one time!" He protested with a laugh.

"Four times..." She added, the smirk turning into a full smile. "That's besides the point, Connor. It's just... I don't know, what if one of these days we go out late at night and we get into a crash or... I don't know. Your parents wouldn't remember you as such a great son and wonderful friend. God knows what they'd remember you as. Or... if they even would." He looked over at her again, but she was staring off somewhere, obviously not here anymore.

"I really don't care what they remember me as, or if they do." His hand grazed the handle, really not wanting to leave and go back into his house, full of people who didn't accept him. He could easily stay here forever, with the one person in the world who really... accepted and loved him for the person he was. He shook the thought out of his head, kicking himself for being so sentimental and mushy. He hated when that happened. Ceirra brought that out in him.

"But they might." She tilted her head back on the seat, so she was looking up at the sky. They never did close the sunroof before they headed back.

"Are you high or something." He laughed. She didn't laugh with him, she just continued to stare at the sky.

"Maybe a little." She whispered. Her long, curly mess of hair cascaded across the back of the headrest of her seat, and her skin almost glittered in the moonlight. He couldn't think of any words to say.

"See you tomorrow." He whispered and hopped out of the car. He started walking fast, knowing if he looked back he'd get right back in that car and back home with Ceirra. He waited until he got to his front door to look back. He saw her climb over to the driver's seat, and give him a little wave. He raised two fingers in a sort of salute, and she backed out of his driveway. He let out a sigh and turned the knob of his front door. The scent of almonds and linen filled his nose, and he felt like throwing up. He hated being here. He hated feeling the way he did here.

"Connor! You're home! Come in here." He heard his mother call from the living room.

"Why?" He groaned, basically stomping into the living room.

"Connor, please just do as your mother says." His father grunted. He saw in the living room his sister with her legs swung over a chair, texting. Probably her jazz band friends. His mother was sitting on one side of the couch with his father on the other.

"Jesus, stop trying to make these damn 'Murphy family meetings' happen." He snapped and plopped down on the only remaining seat in the living room.

"Connor please." His mother seethed, holding in her anger. "We are here because you are starting your second semester of junior year and your sister is starting he-" He cut his mother off with a laugh.

"Jesus fucking Christ, are you serious?" He started cackling.

"I told you Connor would ruin it." Zoe spat, turning her attention back to her phone.

"Connor, can you please not be an absolute delinquent for just a moment?" His father snapped at him.

"God." He muttered under his breath as he left the living room. He could hear his mother sighing, utterly defeated.

"Connor, please, your mother just wanted to talk to you before-" Connor turned around for a moment, with his middle finger up.

"Fuck off." He basically sang, and turned back around, making his way up the stairs and to his room, where no one ever dared enter, after he almost decapitated Zoe with a hammer.

He wasn't aiming for her head, he was aiming for the wall. It just ended up flying directly towards her head and she moved. Or, that's what he says.

He heard the stomp of the foot, and the cry of an utterly defeated mother, and the hysterical laughing of a sister who had no faith in him.

"I told you! I told you he can't be an actual human being. I don't know what you people did to him but he somehow ended up like that!" With that, he slammed his door. He kicked off his combat boots and fell onto his bed. He heard his sister's clumping footsteps up the stairs, grumbling under her breath. He heard her footsteps stop in front of his door. His hands ran over his face and into his long hair. He was just waiting for her to start bothering him. He saw the shadow of her shoes fidgeting for about a minute, and he was starting to get hopeful she would leave. Then there were three soft knocks.

"Go away, Zoe." He groaned.

"Jesus, Connor I just want to talk to you... It wasn't mom's idea for the family meeting, I ju-" Connor quickly picked up one of the combat boots he had just taken off and chucked it at the door, most likely leaving a sizable dent. Zoe screamed and then stopped. "Yanno what, fuck you Connor." She stomped off, and this time, Connor felt kind of bad.

Cierra's words rang in his ears, but he quickly shoved them off. He wanted to sleep. He wanted to be able to close his eyes and not only be able to see her face. He wanted to just have a break.

But he didn't. He tried to sleep, and all he could think about was her. Her face, her hair, her everything. And even when he fell asleep, he dreamed of her.

And jesus, he hated it. 

author's note// woW this sucked, it was kinda a filler so there wasn't a huge gap LOL but yah