step into the sun || c.m

chapter twenty one

Half of July was spent mainly enjoying one another's company. Once this month was over, they wouldn't get to enjoy one another's company much at all, aside from an occasional visit or skype call. Those things of course wouldn't be the same, and all of senior year would be complete hell. But that first half of July was just as pleasant as June, otherwise known as the month of adventures. All that they did was spend time with one another, talking about all the things they wanted to do, whether it be things that they do together or things that they do once they are apart. Connor told her about what he was going to paint for the next art showing, this time being an actual gala where the paintings can be up for auction. He had gotten the email for it the night before. But they would go to fields and lay out, make forts in one of their living rooms. They were simple adventures, simple things that involved more of spending time to one another than it did making the most of the time that was being spent together. The simpler things were just as beautiful. But tonight, they hadn't done a whole lot of talking. Cierra seemed to have something on her mind when Connor came to pick her up for dinner. 

"You should paint a rose." She suggested, twirling a strand of her sunshine hair as she looked down at the rather dirty table of the diner they had decided to eat at tonight. It was one of those diner's that had regulars, and their entire income was from those regulars who all the waiters seemed to know by name. So when Connor and Cierra walked into the diner that seemed as if there were martians walking in. No one new ever came in. It was in a small town where everyone knew everyone, and no one in that diner knew either of them. Probably because they lived two towns and an hour and a half away. They decided to go to another restaurant that had horrible Yelp reviews. It looked as if it were cheesily sixties themed, but it opened in the sixties, and they just hadn't redecorated in years. So of course, they got into Cierra's jeep and they drove an hour and a half to this diner that had three waitresses and a generic fat greasy cook and dirty tables and food that was drenched in grease. But quite a few of the tables were filled up. 

"That's easily the most generic thing that I could paint for that art show." He scoffed, opening up the red and yellow menu for the first time since his combat boots hit the floor of this restaurant twenty minutes ago. 

"I never said you should paint that for the art show." She raised an eyebrow, opening her menu as soon as she saw that Connor had opened his. She actually accidentally closed it since she had given herself sweater paws, pulling her over-sized maroon sweater all the way past her hands to where only the tips of her fingers were visible. She looked up to see if he noticed, and he pretended not to. 

"I mean, I am pretty sure I've painted quite a few before. When we get back, we can check in my basement if you wan-" She shook her head, looking down at the menu, and that was more than enough to cut him off. 

"No, maybe not even paint.." She bit her lip, not in a sensual way, she was thinking. She did that when she was thinking sometimes. It wasn't a normal mannerism, and he couldn't tell if she was thinking about what she was going to eat, even though they both knew exactly what she was going to get, or what she wanted with the rose. 

"I mean, I am pretty sure I have some sketches in my pad at home i-" Again, he saw those giant loose curls shake, indicating it was a no. She looked up at him, and he could tell by the way certain muscles in her cheeks were pulled that she knew exactly what she wanted. "But it seems you have something else in mind?" He closed the menu, knowing they both weren't in a rush to eat. 

"Okay hear me out," She started and Connor almost instantly groaned, stretching his long arms covered by his weird jean/leather/windbreaker sorta jacket across the table. "Listen?" She swat his arm, letting out a small laugh, something he really hadn't heard her do often lately. Last time he heard her laugh was a week and a half ago when they were watching How I Met Your Mother and something Barney Stinson said caused her to bust into a fit of laughter. That was something she did before the incident, and it was a big deal that she did. She loved that god damn womanizer on that stupid sitcom, and ever since the incident she hasn't, she said that he reminded her of the man who.... 

"I'm listening!" Connor put his hands up in defense, doing everything in his power not to let out a laugh at her sudden outburst. She folded her hands over her now closed menu and cleared her throat jokingly, though it was obvious that she was about to be talking for quite a while. 

"Okay, so I wanted you to do a quick sketch of a rose, but I wanted the rose to be wilting just a little bit. To symbolize the fact that... I myself am wilting just a little bit but i'm still here and I'm still alive. I'm still standing even if some petals fall off. After the.." She took a gulp. "The incident," It had become a habit of both of them not to mention it by name, or even refer to it as anything more specific than "the incident" so Cierra didn't get upset. "I have wilted a little. I have started to fall apart, but I am still here. I am still here, I'm still standing and I'm getting better. And you mean the world to me, and you're the reason that I'm still here, that I'm regrowing my petals and shit." She pulled her sleeves even further down her hands, even though that was physically impossible. "So I wanted you to draw it. So I could have something of yours with me forever. You don't have to if you don't want to, but it would mean the world to me if you did." She didn't look down at her hands that were now completely covered by the deep purplish red fabric, or around the restaurant, she looked Connor dead in the eyes. She sat there and she waited for Connor to make a move for what felt like a century. His mind started to travel to why in the hell a waiter or waitress hadn't come to their table yet, but he pushed it out because it really didn't matter. He sucked in a deep breath of air, straightening his arms out across the table yet again. 

"Do you have a pen?" He asked nonchalantly, and she instantly rummaged through her bag and handed Connor an old mechanical pencil she probably had in their from school. There was also a pretty good chance that it was found on the floor of their dusty old high school. 

Connor then sketched out a rose on a napkin, a few of the petals falling, but he added shading to make it seem as if the petals that were falling were falling upward, as if they were reattaching themselves to the rose. He thought that she was going to cry when he showed her the drawing, she said it was everything she wanted and more. 

"Why did I sketch this?" He asked, setting the pencil down on the table as he crossed his arms over his test in a questioning way. 

"I want to get it tattooed on me." She gave him a fake, showing every tooth in her mouth as she flashed him a desperate smile.  

Within the hour, Cierra was sitting in the chair of the tattoo parlor down the street that actually had a pretty good review on Yelp, even though it was stated that they never checked ID's her fingers laced with Connor's so tight that he was slightly concerned she may cut off his circulation. 

"I'm terrified." Her breaths were shallow and uneven. 

"Yeah, it's probably going to hurt a lot." He sighed jokingly, and this time she punched him on the arm instead of swatting him. It may have left a bruise. 

But he didn't care. 

author's note// i had to shave my fucking legs tonight cause i'm in a show this week and i was so pissed off like why can't i keep my god damn hairy legs but then i shaved them and thank you summer production of singin in the rain for causing me to take care of myself and have nice smooooooth leagssss