step into the sun || c.m

chapter twenty five

By dinner time, they had finished packing just about everything in her bedroom. The room was bare aside from the boxes slew across the floor, all filled to the top, taped shut, ready for the moving truck in to come in just two weeks. She really didn't have much that she felt the need to take. She didn't like packing all of the memories, hating the fact that she would have to live in the past if she decided to take all of the things she had attained through her life here. 

"Are you just taking clothes?" Connor questioned uneasily. There were at least five or six boxes filled to the brim with all of the knick knacks and older clothes and things he'd expect her to keep. 

"Not just clothes." She smirked, getting up rather quickly and taking all of the paintings and drawings hung up or tacked onto her walls, exclusively by Connor. "I need these for when they are worth a lot of money." She sawed. 

"Nice to know how much I mean to you." He shot back jokingly, throwing some old t-shirts from middle or elementary school in one of the donate boxes. His hands landed on a Strawberry Shortcake t-shirt he never remembered her wearing. It must have been far before he had ever met Cierra. She would never have worn something like this as long as he had known her. "Hey, can I keep this?" He held it up to his long torso, the shirt taking up just more than a third of his body. 

"Yeah, wear it to homecoming this year." She let out a laugh, placing the drawings at the top of the box and placing the paintings against the box. "You'll get all the girls you could ever dream of." She sat back on her legs, looking at Connor with a small twinkle in her eyes. He felt his heart flutter and a familiar heat rise into his cheeks. 

"Um... I have to get home." He pulled himself up quicker than he ever had before, but before he could dart out of the room faster than he came in, he looked around the bedroom he had been in hundreds of times before. It was empty. The walls had the holes from the tacks, the hooks hung up were bare, the posters stripped from the wall and thrown into the garbage can. Her closet door open, the poles empty aside from the hangers. There were at least ten pairs of shoes tossed into the donate box, since the only ones she had decided to keep were her combat boots and some black converse sneakers. The only furniture she had in her room was a bed, a desk, and a beside table. Everything from her desk was stripped bare, almost everything aside from some old written in notebooks and the scrapbook Cierra was still trying her hardest to make. Her bedside table was dumped into a box, endless bookmarks and old lip gloss bottles, and thank you notes were thrown into the garbage bag. Her bed was the only thing that had anything left on it, which was a pillow pet Cierra had stolen from the As Seen On TV store at the mall and a blanket, two more things she intended to throw away before she left. 

"You can stay for dinner. Or we can go get dinner. Or I can go to your house or.." She trailed off a little, noticing Connor was completely zoned out as he was seemingly reminiscing, though Connor wasn't quite sure that is what he was doing. 

"No... No I need to get home. Um.. How about I... How about I pick you up for breakfast tomorrow or something. I'll let you... I'll let you know." He swiftly walked out of Cierra's bedroom, tears starting to fall down his cheeks. Tears starting to pour from his soul. 

Two more weeks. Two more weeks is all he had. They both knew damn well in two weeks it was all over. In two weeks they may text or call every once in a while, because she would feel bad for Connor, feel bad that he had no one else in the world there for him. She would find someone else. She would find someone else, she was likeable, hell she was lovable. He didn't quite storm out of Cierra's house, he slightly aggressively left her house. Maybe urgently was the correct word to use. He knew he couldn't use her car, so he was stuck walking home. He had to walk for a half an hour before he got home. Before he got home to an unloving family. The only people he would have left. A family who only wanted him to be someone he wasn't. A family who could never love him as much as Cierra did. 

And home he went. He went home, he ate dinner with his family, and he even talked to them a little bit. He hated it. He hated knowing that they didn't care about what was deep inside of him. They only cared about some sort of version of himself that they wanted him to turn into. They never wanted him better or happy, they wanted him to be the son that they always imagined. He hated telling them he was out with a friend all day, mainly because Zoe didn't believe him and said it was just a cover up for smoking weed all day. It was obvious that would simply make him angry and he would leave, which is exactly what he did. He went to bed, like he always did. But he didn't fall asleep thinking of Cierra. He didn't fall asleep thinking of the incredibly limited time they had left together. 

He dreamed of meeting someone new. He fell asleep, expecting a dark sleep, a dreamless sleep, or sleep filled with the ghosts of his past and the ghosts he would be ridden with in just two weeks. That isn't what he got. What he got was a dream of someone who he couldn't see the gender of or the face. But the sensation in his body could only be described as love. His hands were entwined with theirs, and the vibes radiating from the other person's body was oozing with love. He knew for a fact that this person wasn't Cierra, she didn't even come to mind. It didn't even enter his mind while he was in the world, being whisked across a field with this mystery human. He had never felt close to this way. Yes, he knew he was loved, but he wasn't loved this way, and it felt odd to have his love returned. He loved the feeling just as much. He wished he would never wake up. 

When he did, his mind was dropped with the giant weight of his time limited best friend, and decided to push that love back in his head and save it for when he really, needed it. 

Cause damn, those two weeks went by real fast. 

author's note// i'm sorry it's so short, i needed to set it up for the last couple of chapters cause we are getting to the end kids only two or three more pump the fuck up also i have a tumblr now if ya wanna read some evan n connor headcanons + imagines follow it is conncrmurphys thanks!!