Four Years [Poetry]

66. Don't Want

                                                                                                           September 3, 2015

                                    I shouldn't be thinking about making someone jealous

                                                                                             When I'm holding his hand

                                                            I shouldn't be thinking about how I wished

                                                               My first love would be the one next to me

                                                                                                                             I shouldn't.

                                                                                                                                  But I am.

                                                                                       And that makes me feel guilty

                                                                                            'Cause he's actually decent

                                                                   And genuinely seems to care about me.

                                                                                                I think I'm only doing this

                                                                                                          Because I feel lonely

                    There was never someone that actually showed interest in me

                                                                                 That I saw as more than a friend

                                                                                         And that is the real question

                                                                                             How do I see him exactly?

                                                                                                                                Because

                                              I like the sound of my name coming from his lips

                                                                                                   I like to hold his hands

                                                                                                   I like to be next to him

                                                                                 I love when he kisses my hands

               And it's not uncommon for me to feel butterflies in my stomach

                                                                                                    When I'm around him

                                                So is he really my rebound or something more?

                                                                                                                      I don't know

                                   But all I can see now in our future is his broken heart

                                                                                                   And I don't want that