Heal The Scars

Imperfections

After my bath, Hunter left the room so I could change. Pulling on a pair of boyshorts and a tshirt, and placing the colorful beaded bracelets back on my wrists to hide the scars from that shiny razor blade piercing the surface of my sensitive skin.

Hunter never asked me exactly why I always wore them.

Or why I cut the flesh of my thighs. I think he'd just forgotten it or he doesn't want to bring back up the past, whatever it was I was more than happy he never spoke of it or asked me more about it.

A sudden knock on my door pulled me from my daze, "Yeah?" I asked.

"Are you done? The guys are downstairs and we're planning on watching a movie. Wanna join?" Hunter asked.

"Sure. I'll be down in a sec." I responded, limping over to my mirror to put my soaked hair into a bun.

I managed to make my way to the door without breaking another limb. When I opened the door Hunter was already there, waiting.

"Its about time." He groaned, rolling his eyes.

"Shutup." I mumbled, Hunter turned around and kneeled so he could carry me. I hopped on his back, wrapping my arms around his neck and placing my head on his shoulder.

We stumbled our way into the living room, and Hunter sat me gently down on the loveseat next to Josh.

"Ello Mate." He said, trying to sound British but failing miserably. 

"Hello there Josh." I smiled.

"So what's been happening lately?"

"Ermm....nothing really. Same old, same old."

"So there's nothing going on between you and Hunter?"

"Umm.. what do you mean by that?"

"Well it looks like you and Hunter have gotten close, huh?" He sounded like he was mad.

"Well, I mean yeah, he is like my brother after all."

Right? No Austyn that kiss was more than just brothers and sisters being 'friendly'.

"Oh cool." I heard him mumble, turning to face the screen with a smug look on his face.

"When were you gonna tell me? Huh Austyn! You can't just lead me on and play me like I'm some puppet. It does not work that way." His sudden outburst took me by suprise.

"What the hell are you talking about? I didnt do shit to you. I'm as confused as you are right now, Josh."

"Dont pull that fucking shit on me. You know exactly what I'm talking about. I can't believe I actually thought we had something between us. But now I know that you're just another girl. Nothing special. Nothing worth my time." Josh was standing up now, yelling, while making gestures with his hands in the air. And me being the broken ankled teenager I am, I had to stay seated on the couch.

"You know what Josh? You know what I realized? You're just like everyone else. Judging me for my mistakes, and criticizing me for everything that I do. I'm sorry for not being the perfect girl you wanted. I'm sorry for ever walking into your life. I'm sorry if I mislead you. Im just a 15 year old broken and scarred up girl that you want nothing to do with. Im sorry for being the girl that no one talks to because she fucking slits her wrists and thighs. And she's so boney because she practically starves herself because she's afraid that if she doesn't fit society's definition of perfection she'll be judged and picked on by people who dont even know the story behind the cuts that adorn her wrists and thighs. And I'm sorry that I destroy everything that I come in contact with. Kay Josh? Is that what you wanted to hear? Because its all said and done now."

I glanced at Josh for a quick second before limping up the stairs and into my room, collasping onto my bed in a sobbing mess.