At Least We Have Good Weather: A Life of Love and Loss

Chapter 3

In 1992, I entered high school with a personal life in tatters and a non-existent love life. Little did I realize at that point, that was as good as it was going to get.

During the first few months, everyone was sort of feeling each other out, not literally of course, but there were no real cliques forming yet. Well except for those who had pre- existing friendships from Primary School.

Because I went to an out-of-town High School, I was one of only three people who came from my Primary school. They were both girls, which meant I was fair game for the rest of the ladies in my year - mysterious stranger from out of town who nobody really knew.

This worked in my favour for...oh, about 1 month of my high school career.

You see during my first few weeks I had a girl who liked me. Her name was CC. During English class she asked one of her friends to find out if I liked her (which I did). She relayed the message, and we ended up "going out". Awesome!

Just after English period we had second break, and when I went to go hang out with her, her friend told me she had changed her mind. We apparently "broken up". Dejected, I turned around and walked back to sit on my lunchtime step.

That, in a nutshell, was my entire High School dating life. I recently got told that CC had become a lesbian, how true that is I'm not sure, but I'm sure glad I could help her find out her true feelings about men during our time together.

Also, in Standard 6, my first year of high school, another girl told me that her friend wanted to give me a Valentine's Day teddy bear but that she was too shy to give it to me. However, she promised that her friend would give it to me by the end of the day. I wasn't particularly interested in this girl -I hardly knew her, but I thought the gesture was cool, and I found myself rather anticipating the moment she would give it to me. As the day drew to an end, she had still not given it to me, and I myself was growing a bit agitated by the wait. However, I knew that in the final period of the day, the girl, her friend and I all had the same class together, so it would surely happen then.

During the class, the friend asked me if I had gotten it yet, I said no. Encouragingly, she said to me that the bear was in the front pouch of her friend's bag, and I should just sneak a look at least. The curiosity got the better of me, and while the girl was distracted, I took the chance to unzip her bag and see what this mysterious bear looked like. As I unzipped it, there it was.... a tube of vaginal cream to combat the effects of thrush. Once I read the words that would scar me for life on the tube, I zipped the sucker right up and continued to stare at the front of the classroom for what felt like an eternity until school ended.

I never got the bear.

My personal life got worse and worse, and I lost complete confidence in asking anyone else out again.

I got along with all the girls, and was always fun to be around. I never actually had anyone like me back, and sort of just accepted that.

There was a younger girl a few standards below me who seemed interested a few years later, I didn't know her that well, so I convinced her my name was Carlos, and I was half Mexican. I think that went on for an entire term. I wasn't sure if she liked me because she thought I was exotic, or if I had just been too stupid to taken it seriously.

There were those girls I tried to get to know better, but for some reason I always tended to make things way too complicated in my head and ended up overthinking or overanalyzing it to the point where it ended before it began.

Another infamous High School moment, and probably my last, was my Matric Farewell. (or as the yanks call it - Prom) in our final year.

You see, pretty much everyone had a partner, or willing backup cousin, ready long before hand. But me, much like I am today, couldn't find a single person to go with me. Everyone I wanted to ask already had a date...true I always set my sights too high, so I would never get a Paula, Lana or Valanesse to go with me (three popular girls of our year). So the week before our Farewell, I literally walked up to someone I had never spoken to before and asked if she was free to join me at the dance. She was a few years younger than me, but was a complete dear about the whole situation, and said sure why not. Her name was pronounced "Shaan"...that's right Shaun was taking Shaan to the dance. You could NOT make this stuff up.