At Least We Have Good Weather: A Life of Love and Loss

Chapter 9

I started flirting with Zahedha practically from our first day together, and she seemed to like me back. The major problem was she had an on-again, off-again boyfriend who lived out of town, so I never really knew where I stood with her.

I only ever met him once when he came up to visit her, and he was really the type of guy about whom you wondered to yourself: "What on Earth is she doing with a guy like this?" Of course, seeing myself as the better option was my somewhat biased thoughts on the situation.

Most people were aware of how close we were, and eventually our bond took us away from just the office, as we would spend time together after working hours; going out for meals together or catching a movie...yes, I'm easy to please. A girl who likes meals and movies is all I really look for.

Without noticing it, I became the guy who said: " Yes" every time she needed a favour. It didn't bother me though, because if I can help someone, I will -without question.

Once I used my day off to take her grocery shopping. That actually made me feel so good, as it almost felt like we were a couple. Till we got home that is, and she said: "Oh, you'd better not stay too long, my boyfriend is visiting today." Clearly, she didn't want to waste his time by asking him to take her to the shops.

I even played taxi when her family was in town and they needed to be fetched. As I had recently purchased my first car, I loved spending time in it, so I had no problem saying yes to this request. Nobody really knew what they wanted to do that evening, so we spent the entire night driving around Johannesburg. Thinking back, the sight of me driving around with an Indian family squeezed into my car was rather comical.

I was a fool, and I knew it. But I was a fool for love, and do believe I fell in love with her. Or rather the idea of falling in love with her.

One morning I came into the office and there was an email waiting from her that said, "I like you madly".

Now at that time, there was a popular song on the radio by a local band called Just Jinjer of the same name, so it was quite a common phrase. But that's all the email said. I was not sure if it was a colleague's practical joke, or if in a moment of bravery, she sent that message to declare her true feelings to me. I replied saying I liked her too.

Shortly after that, there was a weird distance growing on her side. Maybe she regretted sending that mail. Maybe she never did, and my response freaked her out. But we never did anything socially again...

At that time, felt I would be at ICON forever, and was happy to know my future would be there. Everything was going swimmingly until it was announced that our division had been acquired by another company, and we were going to be moving to their new offices later on, where there was a different protocol in every aspect.

This change in management really freaked me out, as I was comfortable at ICON being my home. After all, I was the kind of guy who would step out at lunchtime and come back with a brand new eyebrow ring...and blood streaming down the side of my face. My HR manager was kind enough to clean me up. (I had a little crush on her too actually...but THAT story comes much later).

In other words, I was not going to be allowed to wear my piercings and offbeat clothing I had become known for. Almost instantly alarms bells went off in my head. After making sure it wasn't a tumor, I realized that it was indeed time to seek my riches elsewhere. (With things so awkward with Zahedha, I couldn't be there and not want to be with her.)

I worked a lot of extra shifts to make as much money as I could, even doing the graveyard shift of 31 December 1999. I had no plans or anyone to be with over the millennium and thought I may as well make some cash out of my loneliness.

Come 2000, I knew I was finally ready to move on from the company.

A colleague, who had left a month or so earlier, recommended that I join him at his current employer where you could "smoke at your desk!", being a non-smoker this meant nothing to me. I set up an interview anyways, and because of my impressive service record at ICON I was offered a job almost immediately.

Shortly afterwards I handed in my resignation at ICON. It felt sad, but right.

The day I did that though, I was seen as the traitor, the black sheep, I sold out dammit...I was giving up a long term future to go where I could inhale secondary smoke 8 hours a day! One of many bad decisions I would make in my life.

I was excluded from many things during the preparation for the buyout, and was eventually allowed to leave before my notice period was up. I suppose this assured them that I didn't steal any company secrets for the competition.

So I left with neither a whimper nor a bang...but I did take another colleague with me at least. Very Jerry Maguire like. Come to think of it, he was really sold on the smoking at his desk idea.

I tried staying in touch with Zahedha, but the email responses became few and far between, until she just stopped responding completely. It hurt. A lot. Just as my career ended at ICON, so did my friendship with her. With neither a whimper...nor a bang.

7 years later, we would cross paths again.

While my friendship with Zahedha had practically dissolved into nothingness, I was becoming rather good friends with a lady named Milena, a Russian girl who worked in another department in the company.

Milena was one of the nicest people I ever met, and I knew from the get go that she was in a serious relationship, so I never pushed things too far. I just enjoyed having a female friend to spend time with, and visit during office time when I needed a break.

When I did leave, Milena was one of the few people who stayed in touch with me, and would also be my date to my cousin Andre's wedding about a year later - with her boyfriend's permission of course.

In February of 2000, I left everything I had worked so hard to achieve, both socially and professionally, to take on a new challenge.

I should have known my time at my new employer Intekom was going to suck when, on the first day, they put a message in the electronic board welcoming Paul and "Sahun" to the company...