At Least We Have Good Weather: A Life of Love and Loss

Chapter 45

Ray.

Leaving my story with Ray till this late in the book was something I mulled over for a long time, because the truth of the matter is that Ray was my best friend and most important person in my life for a number of years. And I guess my definition of the term "best friend" may be slightly different to most people's...but then again, my definition of a lot of things in life is very different to the majority.

Ray and I first became friends in early 2006, just after I had left Heat magazine. Originally from Cape Town, she was based in London at the time and had added me as a friend on MySpace because she thought I was interesting. Now, if you learn one thing about Ray, you should know that this was a huge deal, as like me, most people in life bored us. So to find someone interesting enough to fascinate us was, well, rare.

We hit it off immediately and between our love of pop culture, travel and biting wit, we became firm friends pretty quickly. Ray became the best friend I always wanted, as I could always be completely honest with her, I could share my news, good or bad, with her. She had an aloofness about her that brought instant calm to my crazy life, and I looked forward to the day we would actually meet.

As a series of love interests came in and out of my life, Ray was there to listen, offer advice and keep it real with me. I always longed for her to be more in my life than an instant chat message away, which is why the day she said she was returning to Cape Town was one of the happiest days of my life. Sure, it was still far away, but at least I wouldn't need a visa to see her. Going overseas just to see someone was perhaps not in my realm just yet.

By February 2007, she was back in the mother city, and I was headed there for my business trip during my time with Sony. We were finally going to meet. As luck would have it, she was visiting a friend in the exact same street I was visiting two of my close friends, so immediately I was able to introduce some of my very close circles to one other. I remember thinking at that exact moment that this was how my life should be. Good friends, Cape Town, happiness.

Ray and I headed out to an art exhibition that evening and wrapped the night up with the best milkshakes in town. It was as close to a perfect first meeting as one could get. There was no awkwardness and it felt like we had been friends all our lives.

Ray was with me through the Lori ordeal, she was there for the Naj hilarity, and she was there when I had sex in my office. Okay, well, she obviously wasn't THERE...but when I told her about what happened, she phoned me immediately for the details. We shared everything, and for all the loneliness I had in my life, Ray filled that void in many ways.

During my epic road trip that found me in Cape Town in October of 2007, I had hoped that I would see her, but it never happened. I think Ray always felt bad about that, which is why she made it up to me the next April by accepting my invite to come with me to the SAMA awards in Sun City.

Knowing about the near tragedy that had almost happened there a year prior, she didn't want me to be alone, and was looking forward to flying up to Joburg and spending the weekend with me. I too was appreciative and excitedly let my work know that this year I would indeed be needing a plus one.

For Ray and me, the airport always provided us with a safe haven of sorts, and fetching her from the airport was exactly the boost we needed to start off this special weekend together.

Now, let me say, I had never planned this weekend to be anything in the romantic sense, and even though Ray was a beautiful woman who made me wonder what it would be like to be intimate with her, this weekend was just about us strengthening our friendship, as she was someone I really needed in my life at that stage. The fact that I got to "show her off" to my friends and colleagues was most certainly a bonus, but it was always about having someone close in my life, without the stress of "where was it going".