At Least We Have Good Weather: A Life of Love and Loss

Chapter 35

With the monkey off my back, I was looking forward to the new post-virgin era of my life, as I had often heard (ok, multiple times from the same guy) that once you have that first time, the flood gates will open and women will be knocking down your door.

I was officially in my sexual prime - mothers lock up your daughters, Burg was on the prowl.

End dream sequence.

My life carried on as per usual, except the sex thing just didn't bother me anymore, sure I always had the hope that I would take on a lover, but I didn't obsess over the loneliness...for a while at least.

My focus was my job.

As my frustration with living in South Africa began to dominate my own personal headlines, I grew more and more angry having to deal with everyday life in a country I hadn't felt a part of for a very long time.

I became very vocal about it, and made my intentions clear, I wanted out. A plethora of valid reasons topped the list, but the only one that seemed to matter was that I just didn't belong here anymore, or perhaps never did.

My job at Sony was the only way I saw to get out of a country that was destroying me, and I threw myself completely and utterly into making a good impression on our global team. I always felt closer to my international colleagues than I did to my local cohorts, simply because of their desire and ambition to be more, to achieve more, and not be bound by the trappings that a typical South African would face.

It was a somber end to the year, as I had to say goodbye to one of my closest confidants when my colleague, Ilona, left the company.

Ilona was my original work crush when I started at Sony back in 2006.

Over the year that followed I went on a proverbial rollercoaster of trials and tribulations in my personal life, then, a random discussion about a girl I had fallen for, Lori, sparked a friendship with the lady I had previously only really said 'good morning' to, or had the odd conversation with when she was around my office talking to another friend.

As my personal/love life went down in a ball of flames, my friendship with Ilona became more and more genuine - blossoming into one of trust, honesty and respect.

As written about at length, I became an emotional wreck and confided in her about the pain and anguish I was going through, whilst battling the worst depression of my life.

While everyone went on their self-righteous "chin up", "It's not that bad", "she doesn't deserve you" crusades, Ilona was the one who always supported MY decisions, and encouraged me to never give up on what I wanted. Even at my worst, she always allowed me the space to follow what I believed was right, yet still offering words of advice that never once came across as condescending.

She understood the importance of the insane road trip I took, and the entire time I was gone, she was one person who constantly checked up on me, with the caring and understanding that nobody else could offer. Always letting me know that there would be one true friend for me to come back to.

I came back a changed man.

With the promise to myself I would never get to that point again I began a new journey to love myself.

Once I returned, our friendship was at a new level, and along with our third musketeer, Caroline, we began setting time aside to actually talk with one another.

We became the Coffee Club.

Twice a day, nearly every day for 2 years, we set aside time for each other.

Ilona knew the worst about me; she knew the best about me. She was the one person I trusted above all others. She was the first person I told about my afternoon delight in my office, and became a pillar of encouragement when I decided to follow through on crazy ideas, but saying goodbye to her was one of the saddest days of my life.

2009 closed with me making great strides in my job and I became a valued member of the global team. So much so in fact, that I got invited to an international conference in Amsterdam to meet colleagues from around the world.

I was excited beyond belief. I had always felt like the kid brother at the company, the guy who nobody took seriously, but finally I had been acknowledged. The only drawback was that my passport had expired, as it had been 10 years since I last travelled overseas.

On my birthday, I scrambled to get my passport sorted, but due to a mistake at the government office my passport was lost, causing me to miss the deadline for the Amsterdam, trip forcing me to have to cancel. I was even angrier that incompetence had played a role in stopping me from moving ahead with my life.

As Murphy would have it, the day of the conference, my passport arrived back at the application office for me to collect.

Heavy hearted I went to the office and collected it. Unfortunately the office was located in the center of town, which on its best day is not the safest area to be in, and I was mugged when walking back to my car.

Angry at what had happened, and perhaps an accumulation of all the anger that had been building up, I chased after my mugger...literally running through traffic like some sort of rabid animal. I caught up to him and punched him, taking back my possessions. As the shop owners came out of their establishments, I feared the worst, but they all backed me up and chased the guy off. For the first time, I felt like the victor, and not the victim. Everything about that incident was against my entire character, but it made me feel good.

My international colleagues were understanding, albeit disappointed that I would not be joining them, but did leave me with words of encouragement that I would be invited to the next gathering in 6 months time.

I had high hopes that 2010 would be the year that changed everything. South Africa was also set to host the FIFA World Cup in the middle of the year, and being an official partner, we were heavily involved. South Africa was in the spotlight, and there was a genuine buzz of hope and excitement in air.

True to their word, in April of 2010, the international office invited me to attend the next conference, this time being held in London. This time I was ready. With passport in hand, visa approved and flights booked. I waited with great excitement for my chance to prove my worth to the global team.

However, the universe had one little trick it needed to play on me. A little volcano by the name of Eyjafjallajökull decided to erupt and send the world's airspace into chaos.

We kept checking on flights and news reports by the hour, until eventually there was no choice but to cancel. Again.

The only saving grace was that the entire conference was postponed, as it affected too many delegates to be deemed worthy of being held.

Thankfully, it was a case of third time lucky, as it was rescheduled for just a month later, and finally I found myself at my favourite place on earth...the airport.

Despite all the drama surrounding my eventual trip, London 2010 was as close to a perfect trip as one could get. Not only did I get my chance to stand out and make an impression, but I also got to see a number of old friends.

As it always does, travel reinvigorated me, and I returned to South Africa 10 days later, a happier, wiser and a more inspired person, and I needed that, because one of the strangest years of my life had only just begun...