At Least We Have Good Weather: A Life of Love and Loss

Chapter 14

Death. It's something that follows us all around in one-way or another. But for me, it became my mortal enemy. It struck whenever I thought I was getting somewhere in life.

I had lost my father and brother when I was just 11 years old. Both older male figures in my life were taken away within a year of each other, and it forever changed the way I would live my life.

Andre became the closest thing I had to someone to look up to and learn about life. He was the one with the good head on his shoulders. He was my hero. And now, even after my brother had shot himself all those years ago and destroyed the family, Andre had done the same thing some 20 years later.

As the details of his death emerged, the more confusing it became. When my brother took his life, I understood the reasons because I lived with him every day. But with Andre, it just didn't make sense.

When Andre's wife came home from an evening out, Andre was not there. By the next morning, he still hadn't returned, so his dad came to investigate. Eventually after wandering about, my uncle found Andre at the bottom end of the garden, he had shot himself.

Yet, on the table inside the house, Andre had laid out all documentation for what his wife needed to do...to claim insurance and such. Typical Andre, he planned ahead for everything, even in his death.

Years, later I would find out more details. Chilling details, which I won't go into, but I get angry thinking about why Andre wasted his life. For what? A payout so his wife could clear debts? A wife of one year? Andre was stronger than that; he was everything I wished I was. However, something was absent his life. I miss him dearly.

Andre's funeral was an experience. If you've ever been to a Greek funeral, you will know why. It was surreal seeing friends at his funeral I had seen just a year prior at his wedding.

The only good thing about all this was that our other cousin had come out from the UK, and when I saw him, I cried, tears of absolute heartbreak and loneliness. My cousin had to fly back the next day, but that got us talking about the possibility of my coming to his home in Leicester for the first time to visit him. I needed a break from all this. Traveling was always my peace.

Work had become a burden for me. I was frustrated, bored and going nowhere. I just couldn't imagine doing this much longer.

As time went on, the usual work changes came and went, we moved buildings (more times than I can remember), our holding company changed names (more times than I can remember), and my manager changed - just the once, which was enough to shape the rest of my destiny.

I faked knowing what I was doing for over two years, a record for me, and even managed to pick up the "best team" award for our service and stats. (I still have that trophy in my lounge). Overall though, I felt like I was just killing time.

My social life was a series of non-events, but there were a few girls during that time who had my attention...all with typically disastrous results.

Let's do a round of quick-fire heartbreak should we?

During our biweekly kickboxing sessions, my friend Jared and I had taken a shine to two young girls, Michelle and her friend Olivia. Jared liked Michelle, and I liked Olivia.

We eventually arranged to take them to movies one evening, with a group of friends on their side, as well as Jared's other friend Russell, to see X-Men 2.

I really liked Olivia, but the age thing did seem a bit strange seeing as though she was still in school, so I slow played it. But we seemed to get along. We even came up with a bizarre inside joke about a sarcastic bird named Sarkie.