This is me

You can do it

The phrase that says "Heads up!"

You always told me this...

"Heads up lang lagi! Meron pang ibang chance to prove myself"

I got inspired in you back then. How you handle things. How you decide on things. How you enjoy things you love.

How you give your love to that certain person you chose to love.

How lucky am I that I get to experience it, right?

Naaalala mo pa ba Bruh yung gabi na tinapos mo na lahat? Yung gabing sinabi mong nasasaktan ka para sakin. Yung sinabi mong mahal na mahal mo ko pero di pa ata yun yung tamang panahon para mahalin natin ang isa't isa ng sobra sobra.

Sinabi mo nun na hindi mo ko pinaglalaruan. Sadyang bigla bigla mo kong maaalala at mamimiss mo ng sobra kahit wala pang bente kwatro oras simula nang tapusin mo ang lahat nung kina-umagahan nun. Bigla bigla kang magchachat nang

"May sasabihin ako"

"Ay nevermind nalang pala"

"...."

"Miss na agad kita. Sobra"

"Sorry"

Alam kong mahirap. Alam kong masakit. You've already proved enough for you to experience things like this.

Ang funny nga eh kasi nag away pa tayo nun ng a little bit before ako umalis sa Manila. I remembered pa nga nun na you got disappointed in me kasi nagpadala ako sa pagiging cold mo. Na pati ako naging cold na din kasi nahatak mo ko eh. At ang funny funny nung chat mo sakin nung after lunch yun, yes I still remember that situation...

"Kain lang ako" is all what I just said then you answered

"Eat well."

Then after two hours...

"Ano 2hrs and 42mns ka nang kumakain? Sige pakabusog ka diyan. Bye"

And I know that in that moment I wasn't able to chat you that I'm done eating for a reasonS.

Firstly, baka may problema ka kaya ayoko muna guluhin ka and just wait for you to be ready para makapag kwento ka.

And second, after ko kasi kumain hindi ko na nahawakan yung phone ko for the meantime kasi inutusan ako to do different kinds of chores.

But still, I know it's my fault.

Bakit nga ba kasi ako nagpahatak sayo noh? You're right, sating dalawa ako yung mas malakas. So why?

I don't know. I too myself don't even know what I did that. Siguro masyado ka lang talaga malakas makahatak kaya pati ako nahatak mo ng ganyan.

But either ways, nagka ayos naman tayo nung gabi na yun mismo. You messaged me asking

"Ano ganto nalang ba tayo?"

"Sorry" was all I could say

I know naman na kasalanan ko yung half dun and kasalanan mo yung half dun. Sabi mo kasalanan mo din eh so hati tayo HAHA.

*****

When you told me to stop, I remembered your motto "Head's up!" that means I can do it too. That if you can do it, so am I. Even though it hurts.

It pains me knowing that I attached myself to your inspirational motto's, quotes, and beliefs. It pains me but still I'm grateful because maybe without those, these "moving on" of mine won't be complete. That without those words coming from you, I won't make it half through.

But yes, I can do it on my own. Let's say that you helped me a lot in the process.

*****

It pains me whenever I see you. It pains me to bring back all those memories with you. It pains me knowing that I still love you.

It pains me to see you being alright while I'm whishing that I too would be alright. It pains me to see you everyday. It pains me to see that you're happy.

It pains me but I'll be alright.

*****

I'm happy because you're happy...