This is me

Last...

The goodbye

: used to express good wishes when parting or at the end of a conversation.

: A final goodbye...

*****

Goodbye...

Kelan?

Kanino?

Ah, alam ko na. Alam ko na kung kanino o kelan ka dapat mag goodbye.

Sa feelings mo.

Say goodbye na sa feelings mo para sakanya kahit masakit. Say goodbye na kay Papa P kahit sa simula mahirap kalimutan yung pandesal na sobrang lambot at mainit init pa. Charot HAHA.

Say goodbye na sa feelings mo para sakanya.

Pero hindi sakanya mismo.

Di mo naman maiaalis ang isang taong naging parte na ng buhay mo. Yes, you might have forgotten them physically or mentally or even emotionally but we know that our precious heart won't forget them. Nasa memory pa natin yung memories niyo together kahit nasa kadulu-duluhan pa yan ng utak mo, andiyan parin yan. Magka amnesia ka man andiyan parin yan.

The love you felt when you see him or her again might not be the same love when you're still together before, and that's somehow normal. It's just like this,

"I love you... But I'm not inlove with you..."

Or maybe "I'm not inlove with you. Again."

If that happens then it's really a goodbye.

*****

Nv.

"Goodbye, Sam. Hindi na to see you again. This time, goodbye na talaga"

I already saw that coming...

But even though you already saw that coming it still hurts. Kaya nga you're making the best out of it sabi nila. You're doing everything you can to make him or her happy kasi baka it would be the last. Expect the unexpected. Kaya hangga't maaari ayaw niyong nag aaway kayo kahit minor lang yan. Sometimes kasi you'll never know, last day niyo na pala yun together.

Just like what happened to me.

Nv.

"Sige na, enjoy ka na diyan sa Ilocos. Ingat ka ah! I love you! ♥"

"Ingat ka din diyan. Pag maglalaro ka ng basketball nako yang temper mo ah. Wala ako sa Manila para sapakin ka pag nakipag away ka"

"Opo boss"

"Message kita pag nakarating na kami 😘♥"

***
~6am~

"Morning ☀ Nasa Ilocos na po kamii!!"

~7am~

"Morniing!! Ingat kayo diyan ah! Basketball lang ako, chat kita pag nakauwi na ko 😘"

"Mag breakfast ka ah. Ingat and enjoy!! 😘"

***

The next day...

"Morniing!! Breakfast ka pag gising mo ah! Basketball lang ako. Chat mo ko pag gising ka na. Ingat love you!"

**

The next day...

~night time~

"Kakauwi lang po namin galing tour 😴. Nag sand boarding ako!!"

"Nag keyboarding naman ako! HAHAHA"

"Nako late na ah! Baka di ka pa nag didinner dahil sa keyboarding mo (dota)"

"Nagdinner na po ako noh. Sige na magpahinga ka na at late na"

"Mas kelangan mo pa ata kesa sakin eh!"

"HAHAHA sige na good night! I love you!! 😘"

"Love you too!! 😘"

**

Didn't know that, that would be the last "I love you's"...

Nv.

~Same night~

"Sorry kung biglaan to. Baka magtaka ka kanina ang ayos pa natin tas biglang ganto. Sorry, Sam but I think I should fix myself on my own. Thank you sa lahat lahat. Kung tayo, tayo talaga"

~The next day~

"Gandang relfection ah 😂 but still thank you 😁 Just always remember to smile and be happy. Enjoy your life because it's yours. Fix yourself diyan while I heal myself dito sa Ilocos sakto kasama ko si God dito and I'm sure kasama mo rin siya there. When life gets hard just pray, oky? Ayun laaang. Thank you 😁. Good morning 🌞 . See you when I see you 👋"

~seen.~

Sinaktan na nga sineen pa. Charot HAHA.

**

"May gusto akong sabihin kaso di pa tamang panahon"

"Kelan ba tamang panahon para sabihin yan? Baka huli na pala ang lahat bago mo pa masabi yan"

"Kasi nag break kami. Kasi ramdam ko na di niya ko deserve ngayon. Kasi di pa ko maayos. Gusto ko sana siyang kasama habang inaayos ko sarili ko kaso baka habang inaayos ko sarili ko unti unting mawala yung feelings ko sakanya. Ampangit naman nun, iiwanan ko siya sa ere. So nag decide ako sa sarili ko na patigilin na siyang mahalin ako hangga't maaga pa kasi baka pag mas lalong tumagal mas masasaktan siya ng sobra. Pinili ko tong choice na to kahit masakit sakin, pero ayun yung choice na sa future mas magiging masaya siya"

"You deserve me better... I mean in my best form, Sam"

**

"Di talaga ako bumitaw."

"Bumitaw lang ako para bumitaw ka na din."

"Siguro kung maayos na ko dun mo na ko deserve"

**

"Sam heal yourself. Buoin mo yung sarili mo. Kaya mo yan, ikaw pa ba. Parehas lang tayo ng nararamdaman, mahirap din sakin pero alam mo na yung reason"

"Sabi mo kaya ko. But I want you to help me too. But how? If you know to yourself that I can do it, assure mr that YOU TOO can also do it. In that way. You've helped me and you've helped yourself"

"Goodbye"

"Goodbye"

*****

Bye...