This is me

Second last..

See you again...

: See you, 'be seeing you', and 'see you later' are ways of saying goodbye to someone when you expect to meet them again soon.

*****

"Goodbye, Sam. Kung tayo, tayo talaga. Kung hindi, edi hindi."

"Bakit goodbye? Mawawala na ba ko? HAHA"

"Dapat, see you again. Di naman kasi ako mawawala kahit tapos na, diba?"

"Oo nga naman. Edi see you again, Sam. Haha"

"Just always remember bruh, "always be ready to say hello, but also be ready to say goodbye." Isa yan sa natutunan ko sa ate ko."

"I will, Sam. Basta do the same din"

*****

"See you again".

Sabi sakin nun na pag may gathering daw tapos uwian na, wag ka daw magsabi ng goodbye. Dapat daw see you again, kasi magkikita pa naman daw kayo. Di man agad, but still magkikita parin kayo. Pag goodbye daw kasi, parang sinasabi mo nang goodbye na talaga. Wala na. Tapos na. Uwian na.

Kaya everytime na uuwi kami from gathering o ano man, napapadalas yung "see you again" ko sa kanila. Ewan, nasanay na ko eh. Pero at some point totoo din naman. Why say goodbye sa mga taong makikita mo pa naman?
Kung mamatay yun edi see you again. See you again sa next life.

*****

"See you again..."

Then after ilang oras

"Miss na kita :("

How can you move on when he's being like dat. Layk, why?

Pero syempre, hours after we ended things, nakakamiss talaga yun. Maski ako nagdoudout kung mag memessage ako eh.

See you again for the two of us literally means "see you again" like someday when we see each other, we won't just be walking pass through each other without any touch of skin, eye contact, or any physical contact going on. And that see you again will let us remember that we once loved each other but will never be together again. Ok, kinda harsh. But we'll never be the same "Bruh to Bruh" again. Like we're just once friends and had never been a boyfriend - girlfriend.

*****

First day of classes starts again and I don't know how to act. Well not pertaining to acting in a crowd or what. But how to act normal like nothing happened. Like I wasn't hurt by "them" and wasn't sad because of "him". You know, be me. Again...?

And I sort of did it. "Sort of".

You know to yourself that there will come a time when you two will meet again. Maybe not today, tomorrow or the other days. But you know you'll meet someday.

You also know to yourself that you missed that person that's why your looking for him. Not looking by means of being obvious. But by looking only in the eyes and working with your instinct.

And you saw him.

You saw him being happy.

You saw him like he really had moved on and is fine.

You saw him laughing with his group of friends, enjoying their company.

You saw him and he saw you too.

You exchange looks but just quick and bowed your heads and scratch your napes.

*****

Breaks by that time and I happen to make my way out of the comfort room. And when I did, I was walking straight going to my room when I saw you. And I know you saw me too.

We walked passed by each other.

But it didn't end by just walking passed by each other.

You pinched my cheeks like how you used to do it before. And I reacted to it by saying

"Ouch!"

(But actually it does hurt a bit because of ny braces)

By that time, I wanted to call you out and hug you from behind and say that I missed you...so much.

But then I didn't. And I know to myself that I shouldn't.

*****

Every day or every week, you always do that to me. Pat my head when lining up for lunch or when it's so crowded that we couldn't walk much and happened that I'm in front of you and you're at my back. Pinch my cheeks when you happened to walk beside my room for you to go to your own. Nodding heads like knowing what our minds are saying.

But you know what?

There's no words.

No dialogues.

No confrontment.

No anything.

It's just like "See you again, Bruh!"
Without even saying it out loud.

*****

See you again might turn into goodbye's...