Eddsworld Oneshots & memes!

EddTom (Crime/Detective AU)

"Hhpmh chpph upf dfp thsf?"

Edd turned his head to look at his captive. He smiled softly.

"Speak up deary..."

"Hmmpf! Chmph!"

"Oooooooh. Still no idea what you said."

Edd's smile grew larger. His captive growled and bit down on the rope gag in his mouth.

"FPH YGH!"

"Wow. I am offended, that you-"

The captive screamed into the gag and fell on his side.

"Good thing you weren't in a chair. Now, Thomas, tell me this; What did you hope to accomplish by coming here?"

The captive just growled.

"What are you? A dog?"

Edd turned around to the table.

"Tch tch tch. What to use what to use..."

He selected a medium sized kitchen knife that looked to be from a custom maker. He walked over to the now fallen over Thomas and held the knife near his cheek.

He cut the gag quickly.

Immediately the captive began spewing slurs and swears and the criminal, everything you could think of. There was a 'you shithead' mixed with a 'cunt bitch ass' and so much more.

"Now now Thomas, we must calm."

"I'll calm when you choke on my ass!"

"No. I'm not an anal person."

"I bet your into fucking dead bodies feet!"

"Nope."

"You bitch! Come on I wanna fuckin leave!"

"Noooooo sirree."

"Coooome oooooooon."

"No."

"Pleeeeease?"

"New."

"Edd."

"Yes?"

"Go legally brain dead."

"What?"

"From lack of air."

"Tom."

"FROM CHOKING ON MY ENTIRE ASS."

"OH MY GOD TOM!"

Edd fell over laughing next to his captive. Tom was laughing slightly too.

"Ok-ok- I'll let you go-"

"Hmm?"

"On one condition."

"What's the condition."

"You have to gimmie a kiss."

"What are you? Seven?"

"Twenty seven."

"Whatever."

"Lil smooch. All it takes."

"No."

"I won't let you go."

"Edd."

"Lil kiss."

"Edd. We broke up two years ago."

"Lil smoochy smooch."

"Edd oh my god."

"Smoooooch."

"Fine."

"Yay!"

"C'mere."

Edd leaned down to be face level with Tom. Tom leaned forward to kiss Edd-

-And bit his nose.

Edd launched backward, holding his now bleeding nose.

"CHOKE ON MY ASS EDD."

"OH MY FUCKING GOD TOM!"

*this was shit*

*omg*

*Dab away*