so im exhausted from school and my god i still have a shitload of homework to do so after this im going to take a shower to procrastinate further
but basically the one thing that i hate sO MUCH about school is science, and to be simple the science teacher
to be more complex her way of teaching
the only thing that motivates me other than the fact that i like getting grades that are a's is the fact that i dont want to do bad in science
not because i like or it find it fun or anything, i hate science and (at least going along with the stuff we're learning now) i find it kinda pointless, but because i'm afraid to do bad
what i've been able to conclude is that the main thing that motivates me and probably most of the kids in class is fear
what my science teacher does is basically if you ask a "dumb" question (sometimes the questions actually are dumb, like a kid once argued over the fact that we're not animals we're humans after having it explained many times) she kinda gives you a deadpan look and the "hmm??? i wonder why??????" sarcastically
that basically just discourages me to ever ask any questions
and then if you get a question wrong that she thinks is obvious (which is basically every question because sHES THE FUCKING TEACHER) she basically publicly embarrasses you in the class and even calls on people who got it right like, " you got that right??? its easy"" which isnt good with the fact that just walking to front of the class to throw away something or answering a question makes me all shakey and red faced and nervous
((UPDATE: I TOOK A SHOWER, STUDIED FOR A SCIENCE TEST AND FINISHED MY MATH HOMEWORK AND IM STILL GONNA CONTINUE THIS RANT))
but yeah my god i just dont like science
all her way of teaching does is discourage me from wanting to learn the subject in fear that if i don't understand it (like i got a question wrong about vertebrates and invertebrates bc the whole exoskeleton stuff confuses me) i'll just get humiliated in front of the class again
and its not like its going to matter whether or not i know all the parts of an arachnid or anything when i graduate college so whats the point of making a huge deal about something so small
and its fucking frustrating because she always drags out everything longer than it needs to be and sometimes even drags other kids into it, ("[name] aced this, [name] got this question right")
and all it does is make me and the other kids feel like absolute shit and waste time when she could've been helping and explaining to the person why their answer was wrong instead of making fun of them
sometimes she even reads answers people put on their tests which is bad. you dont read out everyone's grades to the class so you shouldnt read out all the wrong answers
i ranted to my mom about this and she just kept trying to tell me that it doesnt matter but my god my teacher makes it seem like it matters so much
and on tests she'll scold you if you put "?" as an answer or "i don't know" but at least if you do that instead of guessing something you know is wrong you dont have a chance of getting embarrassed
and another thing is that the only reason i get stuff right in science is because i memorize it. i dont know it. in social studies i know the stuff, you could ask me about this frozen caveman from the stone age we did one paper on and i'd answer it because i KNOW it. but in science i don't know the stuff, i just memorize it. and im pretty sure one of the reasons is because im not encouraged to know this stuff. i only memorize it because i dont want to be embarrassed and need good grades and then when we finish a section i forget all the stuff
basically, if you ever become a teacher, dont call people out in front of their peers and classmates and make them feel like shit for not getting something correct on a paper that wont mean anything to them 20 years down the line
be nice goodnight
- Grayson
