YOU (Book 2)

That Woman Again

☆Jade★

Darkness. No matter how much I turn, I only see darkness. "Dark? Abrael? Rias? Anybody?" I called out, but it seems that I'm alone. 

I lied down and looked up at the neverending darkness before me. It's funny how comfortable I am. I am deeply captivated by the beauty that this darkness possesses. "How long have I been here?" I asked no one. 

I can't explain the pain that I'm feeling in my chest. It might be caused by something emotional or something that I just can't really explain. It makes me feel empty. I want to just curl up into a ball and let this darkness swallow me completely. 

I don't like showing my vulnerability. I don't want to show people my weakness since I know that they'll only use it to bring me down. I was tired of looking at the pretentious faces of the people. I wanted to cry and show Rias that I'm not that strong, that I'm exhausted, mentally and emotionally. 

I just got my closure, and it lifted a very big burden out of my chest. If I had known that all I had to do was look at Jane in the eyes and tell her that I've moved on, I would've done it in a much earlier date. How much I've suffered at the pain that she caused, the lies that she fed me, the betrayal that she did, she didn't even stop to think of my feelings at that time. 

My feelings must've been invalid, it matters not to her. Now, I am afraid that Rias will do the same. I am afraid to let her inside my walls completely and break me into millions and millions of unrecognizable pieces. I am afraid that I'll just let her do those things. 

Who am I to deny the pleasure that the woman whom I treasured the most so badly want? I am completely at her mercy. She breached my walls easily, and it won't probably take her even a couple of hours for me to just throw everything away for her. I don't deserve her. 

I am a monster, inside out. I changed that day, ten years ago. What would've happened if I just decided to throw everything I had with Jane for Rias? What would've happened if I stopped myself from being fooled for a second time? I would've not wasted everything if I had known back then how important Rias is going to be in my life. Those ten wasted years. There are more to come, probably. But, the thought of wasting it for something so trivial rather than wasting it for finding Rias is making me so frustrated with myself.

I looked around again and noticed that the surroundings are slowly changing. Until the scenery completely changed, from the darkness to the field of irises. I scoffed. "How fast my life changed, just like this scenery. I've been living my life unknowingly in the dark, until you came, and changed it forever." 

I looked at the sky that almost looks like it's portraying the whole Milky Way. "How I wish I could see this with you." I heard someone laugh. I sat up and looked around. I saw a woman approaching me. She sat beside me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. 

"You've abandoned my dreams for the past ten years, woman. How cruel of you." She laughed lightly and leaned her head on my shoulder. 

"I have always been with you. You were just too blind by those negative emotions to see me just there waving at you. I have never left your dreams since I have had the honor of visiting them for the first time. You must always remember that." I faced her and gave her forehead a kiss. I looked back up at the sky again and sighed. 

"I won't worry about it. You're here with me now and that's fine. I can love you freely here in my dreams. Without anyone to try and take you away from me, again." Now, it's her turn to sigh. I repositioned myself, so now I am lying down with my head on her lap. 

She smiled down at me, and brush my hair with her hands. "You know you can always love me freely whether in our dreams or in our reality. That has always been the case since I saw you, or rather you saw me at that garden. You never left my subconscious thoughts, I might've forgotten you the moment I open my eyes and wake up, but I'll always remember you the moment that I close my eyes and enter my dreams. I have always loved you, even when I was hurting the moment that you told me you loved someone else. I never stopped, because I know I am always going to be the right one for you. Your doubts of me hurting you are in vain, love. I'd rather kill myself than betray you. You mean so much more than words can ever explain, love. So much more."

I shake my head lightly and smiled lovingly at her. "You mean so much more to me too, Rias. It just puzzles me how we could forget our faces the moment we open our eyes. I never would've thought you were the woman who visited my dreams and to think that I've been badmouthing myself because you kissed me in a dream, how laughable." She laughed with me and I swear I've never seen someone so beautiful in my entire life.

"If I had known, I would've congratulated myself a long time ago for managing to make a very wonderful, magnificent, perfect, stunning and beautiful woman like you." She stuck her tongue out and ruffled my hair.

"Speaking of kill, am I dead? Wait, were you hurt? Are you dead?" I asked frantically. I shot up from my position and paced back and forth in front of Rias. 

"Calm down, love. No, we're not dead, I think. I obviously passed out from worry because you wouldn't wake up. Though before I did, I noticed that your body started making another heart to replace the other one. Do you remember what happened?" I calmed down and went back to my previous position in her lap. 

I raised my eyebrows at her statements. Another heart? What the fuck?! Can my body even do that?  "I remember Jane and then blank. Then my office window, giving you my dress shirt, being kicked and blank again. Why? What happened, love?"

"You lost yourself, Jade. Dark informed me a day after. You told me I was your next victim, and a slut which I assumed is Jane managed to get you so livid. I marked you, which got you so angry-" 

I cut her off. "Why would you marking me get me so angry? That doesn't make any sense, love." 

She stared at me straight in the eyes and I just motioned for her to continue, afraid that she'll get mad at me again. "As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, you tied me to a bed, pleasured me, left me hanging, slammed me into a wall, we had sex, you marked me, you gave me your dress shirt. You screamed in pain, I went to hug you, we were kicked by an archangel, you were stabbed at your heart, then you protected me with your body a lot of times, you were decapitated, stabbed at the heart a lot of times after, healed yourself." She tapped her index finger on her chin and made a humming sound. 

"I found an opening and slit the archangel's throat, he backhanded me, my poison starting to show its signs, you being furiously livid, the archangel got your heart out, you burned him enough to let him feel the constant pain, but not enough to turn him into ashes, then sent him to the Abyss, then violà! Here we are. I think that pretty much sums it." I stared at her with my mouth agape. Wow! Those things just didn't happen.  

As I stared at her eyes trying to find a sign that she's joking, my head started hurting. Images started flowing in and out of my head, playing like a film. I gasped. I shoot up from my position for the second time and stared down at Rias with wide eyes. "I tortured Jane. How horrible I am, love." She scoffed in response. 

"We both know she deserves whatever you did to her, Jade." I shake my head vigorously. 

"I'm not talking about that. I basically raped you. Not just once but twice! I hurt you, Rias! I promised myself I would never do that, not in my watch. I basically forced my mark on you. What kind of beloved am I? I am supposed to ask for your consent, not do the fucking opposite!"

"Jade, or should I say, Master Jade, don't ever worry. I liked it rough. It might have been my first time, but I really loved how aggressive and rough you were. Thinking about it makes me crave you again. I basically can't have enough. I marked you first, Jade. I think we're even." 

I smirked and licked my lips. "I can smell your arousal, love. It's making me wet, you know. So you like it that way, huh? How about we satisfy our needs?" 

She smiled seductively at me and motioned for me to come closer. "Have I told you how arousing it is for me to call you 'Master Jade'?"