mended vs. settLed (a FOURTRIS love story)

Chapter 9: The Christina Factor

Chapter 9: The Christina Factor

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." - Unknown

^^ Three weeks since Tris Returned ^^

*Tobias POV*

I emerge from my dream with a yell. My lip stings, and when I take my hand away from it, there is blood on my fingertips. Damn it, I must have bitten it during my nightmare. As I close my eyes remembering my awful dream about Tris's death, I feel the tears slip down my face.

Suddenly aware of my rapid heartbeat, I remind myself that she is alive. Although she is not in my life, I am able to calm myself knowing she is alive, well, and happy. At least I assume happy; I really have no idea what she is feeling or thinking. Not having any contact with someone will tend to leave you in the dark.

I never had nightmares, and then when Tris died my grief consumed me. The dreams are horrific and it literally feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I had hoped that after discovering that Tris is alive that they would stop. Maybe one day.

I flip on the light on my bed stand and open the drawer. I find therapist Kelly White's card. I bite my lip...I am going to call her soon.

Tris doesn't want to talk to me, but I'm starting to realize I need to talk to someone.

++o++

It is really early in the morning, I decide to get up and get a workout in before my day at the office begins. I am gathering my clothes and shoes as I walk through my small apartment that Johanna secured for me while I am working at bureau. She has asked me how long I plan on staying here, I don't have an answer. I am no closer to making any headway with Tris than I was two weeks ago.

I have seen her a couple of times at different political events, but as I was working I decided to concentrate on my job. After the last humiliating scene she made, I have been giving her the space she demanded.

As I am about to head out, I hear a knock at my door. I open it to see Christina standing in the hallway, her travel bag in hand. My mouth falls open.

"Hey." She says, smiling at me.

"Christina, hi. What are you doing...here?" I ask, confused.

"May I come in? Or do you want to have this conversation with me standing in the hallway?"

I hesitate for a moment, and then I remember my manners. Even if we are over romantically, she is still my friend. "Yeah, of course. Come in," I say as I hold the door open for her.

She walks in with her bag and looks around, "Nice place you have here. I am not sure why you look so surprised to see me, I told you I would be back," she makes eye contact, "since I am not giving up on us. I also have nowhere else to stay while I am here," she adds with a playful laugh.

I sigh and shake my head, "Chris, it's not going to happen. No way are we sleeping in the same room."

I clear my throat, "I think you already knew that deep down. Tris is alive, you know what that means, to me at least."

"What I know, is that I am here in your apartment...and there is no sign of Tris."

I frown. All the doubt I have been fighting creeps back at Chris's words. I sigh and sit down on a chair and I motion for Christina to have a seat on the couch. She smiles and sits as close to me as possible. I'm glad I chose the chair.

"You know what Tris was for me, you of all people know how much her loss...killed me." I say softly.

"That's the thing, Tobias. It didn't kill you. You thought it would, but the loss of Tris did not end your life. You moved on, you moved on with me! Why can't you remember that now." She huffs.