Hell Above (p.t.v)

⭐️Chapter 18.Constant Recovery

Chapter 18.Constant Recovery

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Jessica's P.O.V

"W-what. Why?" I stammered and looked down.

"I want to see how many times I wasn't there for you while I was gone."

Vic suspired and gave me a stern look. "Now."

I broke out into tears,"Vic..I broke your promise" and I pulled my sleeves up revealing slashes upon my scarred skin. I felt ashamed. I watched a wave of sadness wash over Vic's eyes, filled with anxiousness.

"Why the hell did you do this, Jessica?!" He held my arms in his hands.

"I...I..-nothing."

"Jess, you can't harm yourself for no reason! Speak up!" He snapped.

I sat there in silence, not daring to budge. Vic groaned in annoyance an sighed.

"So the doctor told me you were informed about...well..." He eyed his arms.

"Yeah. I did."

"I was helpless." He choked out.

Tears trailed down his face, as my head fell on his shoulder and he wiped his tears.

Vic took a deep breath and exhaled. "If I tell you my reason...will you tell me yours?"

"Okay." I murmured.

"I wanted to die."

Those four words that flew out of his mouth, stabbed me in my heart badly.

"W-why?" I stuttered.

"Well, let's start from the beginning of it all." He replied.

I intertwined his fingers and mine, and held tight. "Go ahead."

"I'm so hopeless in life,to be honest. I know you'd not expect that especially from me and I apologize for not telling you earlier, Jess. But anyways, I felt alone...I was empty. I have no one. I had no friends. Before I moved here to San Diego, in my old school I was constantly bullied for my differences. Beaten almost every single day. I was called faggot,worthless,piece of shit, any horrible name you could think of. They all hated me and I began hating myself. I had a feeling nobody cared. I lost it and starting self-harming as a distraction. It soon later became a addiction...a release. I even created this little motto for myself. The only real way to cure pain is to add a little more,because everything new distracts the old. The only person who knew was Mike, just Mike."

"What about Tony and Jaime?" I questioned.

"I didn't meet them until somewhere near the beginning of school. I met Tony at a guitar shop and Jaime at High School orientation." He replied.

My heart cracked seeing Vic like this, it ached extremely.

"You're not alone anymore, I'm here with you, Vic." I whispered. I could feel myself crying instantly. The pain in my chest, ached. I couldn't see Vic like this.

"The last time I had cut was the day before the first day of school." He murmured. "I was terrified,and clueless wondering as to how I would be treated here. And with that thought, I instantly brought up my past, over and over again, it rang in my mind constantly...and I had that worthless feeling all over again."

"What made you stop?" I asked quietly.

"You. I met you. I realized I wasn't the only one with secrets, the only one with problems. When I met you, I finally noticed how it felt. When I saw your scars, I thought to myself, 'Nobody deserves to feel like this. No one in this world should.' Then, I looked at myself. I decided to start saving myself for you. Instead of picking up the blade, I picked up the pen and I began writing." Vic responded.