Chemo

5.

Jenna wheels me down the hall, passing by various nurses an doctors. she's super nice, saying hello to every single one of them.

we reach the elevator, and wait for it to come up to our floor.

"hey, Jenna?"

she looks down at me, moving the hair out of my eyes.

"yes Josh?"

"you know, i never got my chocolate pudding you said i'd get."

she brings her hand up an slaps her forehead and groans.

"aw man, sorry about that. i promise i'll get it to you eventually."

i laugh an look back up at her, "yeah, we'll see. depending on how much time i have left anyways."

she reaches down an slaps me on the forehead, "don't say that, you're gonna live. now shush, the elevator is here."

the door opens to a nurse and a boy in a wheelchair. they both look familiar.

Jenna wheels me in backwards, her back against the wall.

"hey Sarah, hey Tyler. where you guys heading too?"

the boy doesn't say anything, he just looks down an plays with his fingers.

Sarah looks down at the boy an rubs his head. i notice he has no hair, well, atleast a buzzcut.

"well, me an Tyler were just heading to his next chemo appointment. he's doing better since the other time i seen you. where are you off too?"

both Sarah and Jenna engage in a conversation, saying how we are both going to the same place for the same thing. but all i can notice is the boy playing with his fingers.

"well Sarah, atleast our boys will be able to give eachother company. it'll probably be a long time for Josh, it's his first treatment today."

the boy looks up at me and looks me straight into my eyes. he stops playing with his fingers, but doesn't say a single word. we just look at eachother.

the door opens and Sarah leaves first, Jenna following behind. i am brought to a room that is a white color, with a huge window an chairs placed infront of it. it's a private room, not a big as i imagined. it had tan seats and a television in the corner. in between the seats there was tall stands, most likely to hang our IV's, monitors an censors, and the worst being chemotherapy.

Jenna helps me up to my chair, pushing my IV stand along with me before helping me sit, an placing my IV's and censors on the stand. Sarah does the same with the boy, gently helping him to see seat. the boy seems like he's done this before, he doesn't even look scared.

"alright! would you boys like anything before we get started? Tyler, i know you would like chocolate milk. Josh, would you like anything?" Sarah looks at me with a glowing smile.

"uh, a bottle of water would be fine, thanks."

Sarah leaves to go get our refreshments just as Jenna walks back in with a yellow bag, and a light pink bag. she walks over to Tyler an places the pink bag on his IV stand and clips the tube so none of the contents flow out. She begins lifting his shirt an inserting the tube into the port on his chest. i'm assuming this is how chemotherapy works.

"i'll let Sarah unclip the tube when she comes back, yes?"

Tyler nods quickly an begins to play with his fingers again.

Jenna walks over to me, fixing my oxygen tube under my nose, before reaching down to turn up the amount of oxygen i receive.

"just in case, alright?"

i reach out an grab her hand as she stands up, "w-what do you mean just incase? a-am i g-gonna die or something?"

she turns around and puts her hands on each side of my face.

"no no Josh, just incase you get dizzy or it's hard for you to breathe. that's some of the things that could happen. you could feel sick, or you could run a fever, or get chills or tired. there's alot of side effects, but it's all to help get rid of that nasty thing in your body."

i ease my grip on her arm, letting go as she stands up. she walks over to grab the yellow bag. she walks back over to me and hangs it up onto my IV stand, just as she did with the other boy. i remember exactly what she did to him ,and i assume it's gonna be what she to me too. she takes out a small hand held flashlight and has me stand up. she tells me to follow her finger as she shines the light into me eyes, before having me look straight at the wall and shining the light in my eyes once again. i shut them tightly an rub them, trying to adjust to the normal lighting of the room.

i sit back down in the chair that i have been dreading the past few days. Jenna walks over an clips the tube to the chemo and lifts my shirt, plugging in the tube into the port of my chest, just as she had done to the other boy. she pulls my shirt down an walks to the other side of the room to a small closet.

"Josh, would you like a blanket? i'm getting Tyler one and thought you would like one too?"

"hm? oh no thank you Jenna, it's alright."

i can see the other boy out of the corner of my eye, shaking his head in disagreement.

Sarah walks back into the room with a small cart which held water bottles, chocolate milk, and a few small bags of crackers and cookies. she places the cart in between me and the boy, allowing us both to be able to reach anything we had wanted. Jenna had walked over an placed a blanket on the boys legs before walking over to my chair.

"boys, we're gonna start the chemo, alright?"

the other boy nods slowly, pressing a button on his chair making it lean back slightly. he closes his eyes and pulls the blanket up higher.

"you'll be alright Josh, don't worry."

i nod and nervously take out my phone an headphones that Jenna had brought, thankfully.

Both nurses unclipped the tubes, an i instantly felt a rush of liquid flow into my body. it wasn't cold, but it wasn't warm. it was a very weird feeling.

"alright, well at this point we would usually leave you two alone, and we would be back in about a half hour to check on you both. but since it's your first time, i can stay with you if you want me too Josh. it's okay if you do, this is something big for you. it's like your first step."

i don't know why, but i didn't have to make a huge decision. i didn't want Jenna there, i just wanted to be alone, even though i technically wasn't going to be alone.

"no, i think i'll be fine without you."

she gives me a small smile an walks to my IV stand, "okay, well see this pink button?," she points to a button that's on my heart monitor, "that's a button that pages me if you need anything, okay? so if you absolutely need anything in between the halfhours that i'm not here, just press that button and i'll be here as quick as possible. okay?"

i give her a smile and a nod. she rubs the top of my head and walks to the door.

"you're doing great so far. see you in a little bit Josh."

i wave goodbye as she closes the door.