FOR THE MOMENT YOU ALL HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR
-
Tyler's POV
-
Sarah pushed me in the wheelchair slowly on the side of Josh because we were holding hands. Sarah and Jenna talked to eachother about me an him, both looking down occasionally to glance at our entwined fingers. it was love, they said. out of all the kids they seen come in and out of this hospital, me and Josh were the biggest definition of love to them.
we passed the front desk an went all the way down the hall to the elevator we usually took. i went in before Joshie did, as usual.
he was coughing alot today, which wasn't unlike him, but he was coughing more than he has, which isn't good but i know he won't bring it up. he doesn't like talking about being sick alot. but i totally understand; i was like that in the early times of being sick.
he never really talked about his x-rays an how they went, but i can only assume that they showed cancer. because that was what me an him were basically; cancer.
nobody said anything as the elevator 'dinged' everytime a floor passed. the only thing that was was audible was the sound of Josh's oxygen tank. the oxygen tube his nose must of been out of place a bit because it made a small whistling noise.
i leaned over an fixed it with my other hand, earning a smile from Josh. he lifted up our hands an kissed the top of mine as a 'thank you'. he ran his thumb over mine until we reached the floor where we needed to be on. he let go of my hand as Jenna moved him out before me an down the hall to the same room we have always been in.
it was later in the night, and the halls were dimmed slightly. it was calming, almost.
Jenna an Sarah both rolled us into the room, helping us out of the wheelchairs an into the recliners. Sarah hung our IV bags on the hooks beside us as Jenna went to get the chemotherapy from the lab.
while Jenna was gone, Sarah rolled over our snack cart in between me Josh, but he ended up stopping her.
"can you p-put it somewhere else today? i wanna s-sit closer to Ty, if that's alright?." Joshua said with a small tremble in his voice. he was either nervous, or freezing, or both.
"oh! yes of course Josh, that's perfectly fine, don't worry." Sarah pushed our recliners together, which was very easy because they were on wheels in case of any emergencies. She placed the cart on the side of Josh, along with a blanket and a bucket. he still wasn't used to the chemo; he would get cold or get sick, or have a fever an feel dizzy. it was all different things that i didn't have to experience. except for getting sick, that was the worst part.
Jenna came back in with one small sized yellow bag, and one large sized pink bag. it spiked my interest because i have never in my life seen a chemo bag like that. i mean, that big i guess. i had pink chemo at one point. it was the early stages of my cancer. it's suppose to attack cancer sells that are in the muscles of your heart. while the yellow chemo is for the outside of the heart or any other part of the body. but i mean, maybe the pink one is for me? or maybe Josh needed his dosage up for his lungs an they decided to give him the pink. i don't know. but i don't want to ask Jenna or Sarah because they'll end up giving me a big speech about it "not being my business" or something.
but unfortunately, Jenna hung the large pink one on Josh's stand and the yellow one on mine.
me and him took off our shirts, making it easier for Jenna to connect the chemo tubes to our chest ports. as she connected the tubes an took the clip off of the top of the bag, Josh shuddered. it must of been cold, that's happened some times.
Sarah an Jenna said they would come an check on us in bit after we've had the chemo for awhile.
Josh didn't say anything to me for awhile, he only stared at the clock that hung on the wall. his eyes looked tired and red, and his skin was losing the tan glow it always had. his shaved head has started to grow patchy due to the medicine recently.
i reached over an put my hand on the back of his neck, rubbing it gently to soothe him. he closed his eyes and sighed before opening them again to look at the clock.
i stared at his lips, they were chapped an not as pink as usual, but it's okay. he's still perfect. he looked like he had nothing to say though, which was different. he always had something to say.
our arms were pressed together from being so close, an i began to feel him shivering next to me. i leaned over him to get his blanket, spreading it across his lap so he was covered. he pulled the blanket up to his chest before look back up at the clock.
he still looked like he had nothing to say.
"Joshie, talk to me." i looked at him an the expression on his face didn't change at all.
an hour ago he was happy an smiling with me, he asked me to be his boyfriend not too long ago. he was filled with smiles an laughs an happiness and now he's just.
blank.
time passed a bit, Sarah or Jenna coming in to check on us periodically.
an hour passed an Josh was still staring at the clock. he didn't say a word to me yet, he just stared. and stared. and stared some more.
though seconds passed before he reached over the side of the recliner to grab the bucket an got sick. he threw up multiple times, each time making a gut-retching sound. as he leaned over i would rub his back to try an calm him down. which worked,like always. he took some sips of water before resting back on the recliner. he wiped his mouth an nose on tissues an closed his eyes once more.
"are you okay Joshie?.." i spoke again, softly not to bother him.
no answer.
a half hour passed until Josh started coughing. but it was bad, like, when he first came in here kind of bad. he leaned over an held onto his chest as he coughed over and over. he grabbed his throat, most likely to the feel of it burning from coughing so much. he coughed more, until the scariest imagine came into view. he coughed into his hands, blood covering his fingers and his lips, dripping onto the floor below him.
i reached up an pressed the button on his heart monitor that would signal Jenna. i was rubbing his back again until help came. the scary sound of nurses running through the halls filled my ears before the door swung open to Jenna an other nurses. i didn't have to explain what was going on because Jenna seen the blood. she walked over the Josh an took out her stethoscope to listen to his lungs as he coughed.
"guys, it's his lungs. call UNOS right now. we're gonna have to hold off on the heart transplant. he needs his new lungs today. call his doctor immediately."
heart transplant?.
Jenna unhooked him from his chemo line before helping him onto the hospital bed. she put his IV stand on the side before rushing him out to the operating room upstairs.
i looked on the floor to see blood splattered where Josh was sitting.
i didn't know what was going on.
all i heard was heart transplant.
Josh's heart transplant.