listen to the song at |-/ it fits like, perfectly omg.
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Sarah brought me back to the room after they took Josh away for surgery. i wanted answers, i needed answers on what was going on. my boyfriend just coughed up blood an got sick after a huge dosage of chemo. something was going on. i wanted answers.
he was sick. he was definitely sick. we all are. but there must of been more. there mus of been so much more he wanted to tell me, but was afraid too.
i went to his bed an grabbed his pillow an went back to mine, clutching his pillow against my chest. it smelled like Josh's bodywash.
i sat an thought about it more; the sight of seeing Josh's blood over the floor. it was petrifying, honestly. it's something i wish i never seen. but i did. there's no changing that.
Sarah walked in an closed the door behind her. she came over an sat on my bed with me, putting her arm around me an pulling me close to her shoulder.
"is J-Josh gonna b-be okay S-Sarah?." i said as i shook against her, feeling tears well up in my eyes.
she turned her head an placed a kiss on my forehead, holding me tighter.
"Tyler, Josh has cancer in his lungs aswell as his heart. i'm almost positive he didn't tell you. he probably wanted to but didn't because he didn't want to scare you."
i didn't say a word, i just closed my eyes an let the tears fall down my cheeks.
"it went up to stage four. traveled from his lungs to his heart. that's why he had a different chemo bag today, he started the stuff you were on when you first got here. he's suppose to have a heart transplant next week, but i think it's being pushed because of him getting new lungs."
she stopped for a second to wipe my tears.
"which, infact, he received new lungs today. brand new, healthy lungs."
i was happy, oh yes, i was most certainly happy. he didn't have cancer in his lungs anymore, which was good. but he still had cancer, he still had cancer in his heart which is terrible.
"so, he's just like me now?.." i looked up at her as she rubbed my shoulder.
"well, sorta. his cancer is still alot worse than yours. he'll need a transplant, where you only need surgery an chemo. quite the combination but still very effective, especially for you. it's been a long road for you. he'll just need some time to recover when he gets out of surgery. it's a big one for him, a lifesaving one."
a lifesaving one.
"so does this mean he'll be okay forever?." i spoke with hope in my voice, hoping the answer will be a yes.
"im afraid, it doesn't work like that Tyler. he'll just be in surgery for awhile. if you go to sleep he most likely will be put in the ICU for a day or two, just to make sure. and he'll be asleep for a bit which normal. you can still go see him when you wake up though."
Sarah gets up an gives me a kiss on my cheek before turning off the lamp beside my bed. i pull the covers over my body, trying to avoid the tangling of my IV's. she stands at the door an looks at me.
"hey Ty?"
"yeah Sarah?"
she gives me a warm smile as she widens the door a bit more.
"everything will be alright, we got this taken care of."
i nod to her as she closes the door behind her.
i hope this is the quickest hours i'll ever sleep, because i hate sleeping in a room that doesn't have Josh in it.
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